Olympic Horse Hurdle Henge: Has the Empire Fallen So Far?!

Olympic horse event Stonehenge

This is not a post so much as an alert. Hengefinder General (E class) Glastonbury’s keen eye noticed these hurdles at one of the Olympic horse events.

I think we can say with some confidence that this is not where your Olympic millions have gone. Still, we post Stonehenge replicas, so here it is!

Another view, taken from the television

We knew there would be Stonehenge replicas connected with the Olympic summer in England. We were tickled with the bouncy Stonehenge, disappointed with the choice of Glastonbury Tor for the opening ceremony. Now we have these.  The stones are very squared off, of wrong proportions (too thin for their height), painted like a secondary school theatre set, and of course, set up like horse hurdles. A little pathetic, but another sign of the hengemania seizing the world!

Our thanks to Pete Glastonbury for noticing these and taking the pictures from the telly. We’re glad that King of the Mountain is not an Olympic sport. We shudder to imagine the muddy little Silbury Hill replica they might have produced!

And until next time, happy henging!

A Subjective Perspective on the Henge Collective! Or, Clonehenge the Doggerel!

photo from the Henge Collective Facebook page, used with permission

And now we present: Clonehenge the Doggerel!

We have decided it is time
To do a Clonehenge post in rhyme.
But what fine henge
Should be the victim
Of this arbitrary dictum?
No henge! Instead it’s our objective
To tell you of–the Henge Collective!

Some friends went up to Blackford Hill– Well, maybe first they stopped at Tesco– Some sunshine had dispersed the chill, So they resolved to dine alfresco. One found two stones and put them upright, A lintel added over top, Creating a faux sacred stone site. Since then they’ve found it hard to stop. Henge building now their prime directive–They have become the Henge Collective!

Now people join from far and wide, Their hope to fill the world with henges, Some are narrow and some wide, Some quite tall , some low like benges. [hmm… this isn’t going as well as we hoped!] They’re invited in to build, at music festivals and gardens, Henges by which all are thrilled, except if they prefer a Tardis. [Drat!  Doesn’t quite work, we know, but it’s a rule of thumb that mentioning a Tardis can improve anything…] This post is proving quite defective, but before you hurl invective, we will return to our objective, and hail once more–the Henge Collective!

There. Well. That’s done, then. Sort of. Waiting for the applause to fade.

Rufus T. Firefly, a founding member of the Henge Collective tells us:  “Just to let you know, The Henge Collective have been invited to a music festival. They want us to build one for them.” That would be the  Audio Soup Festival, in case you want to stop by.

For more on the Henge Collective and its activities, visit the group at its Facebook group, which, sadly, is much larger than the Clonehenge group! They are based in Scotland, but welcome members from around the world.

In other news, please consider supporting the US Stonehenge Tour Kickstarter. A post on this will follow. Soon. Ish.

Also, if you have been dragged to Great Britain for some kind of sporting event and sport is not your passion so you are considering a visit to Stonehenge, remember the Stonehenge Guide for iPad, written by none other than Mr. Pete Glastonbury, for whom no superlative (or expletive) is sufficient! Few people know Stonehenge and its context and history as well as he does, and his guide gives new perspectives to the old monument. See comment on the previous post for a review.

Sorry it has taken us so long to post. Blame it on the Olympic Committee. It’s bound to be their fault somehow! And to all of our lovely readers, happy henging! (Should henging be an Olympic event? Discuss!)

Bouncy Bouncy Druids, and a Stonehenge Guide You Must All Buy!

bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy druids

As we are sure you realise, every post on the Clonehenge blog is tested and retested on animals. (Don’t worry, scientists carefully select for that purpose only individual animals that no one likes, ones that tell dull family stories over and over, and who talk over you whenever you try to say something especially witty.) Once a post is confirmed as safe, the papers have to be submitted to the appropriate ministries for approval and sometimes they are sent to a committee, debated, and then brought before Parliament for a full debate. Needless to say, all of this takes time, which means that despite the fact that we write posts very quickly and very often, you see new posts only rarely.

However today we have asked for and received an executive edict expediting approval of this post. It was incredibly important for you to see and hear the above video, and also for you to be notified of the release of the new Stonehenge Guide for iPad.

First, we should explain the video. Unfortunately we have no idea who this Mitch Benn bloke is, so all we can say is: this video concerning Jeremy Deller’s inflatable Stonehenge replica which is called Sacrilege and is now touring the UK, is in the Clonehenge spirit and receives the Clonehenge Seal of Approval. The blow-up sheep are also backed by Clonehenge, to be sent in aid packages to Scotland and New Zealand to ease the pressures on the livestock there!

As for the Stonehenge Guide for iPad, we are pleased to announce that it was written and produced by none other than Hengefinder General Extraordinaire Mr. Pete Glastonbury! Few if any people have the background in both science and lore concerning Stonehenge that Mr. Glastonbury can boast. The iTunes preview reads: “A Visitors Guide to Stonehenge for the first time visitor showing the nearby monuments and the latest archaeological excavations. A history of the site is shown in old prints and photographs showing its reconstruction. Interactive 360 panoramas show the nearby monuments in relation to Stonehenge.”

Of course they are modestly avoiding the Absolute Greatest Thing about this guide, but we are not afraid to speak out! The Stonehenge Guide for iPad MENTIONS CLONEHENGE!!!!1!! Or so we are told. We actually don’t have an iPad ourselves. We could afford hundreds, of course, but last year Steve Jobs gave us this spherical iPad he made only two of, one for us and one for his alien overlords, so we haven’t bothered to get a regular one. However, this guide was not configured for iSphere, so if someone could take a screenshot of the Clonehenge mention and post it where we can see it, we would be much obliged. Remember, English Heritage is monitoring sales of this Stonehenge guide, and if insufficient interest is shown, they will go forward with plans to bulldoze Stonehenge to make room for a state-of-the-art Walmart. So buy three! Buy ten! They don’t take up much room.

Before we go, we must mention that the video link above was provided to us by Sylvia MacPuss of the Henge Collective. The Henge Collective is the topic of a Clonehenge post now working its way though committee, and if the Tories don’t drag their feet, we should have that special rhyming post called The Henge Collective Inaugurates Clonehenge: The Musical! by September. Earlier if we actually start working on it!

Keep dry (or keep cool if you are Stateside) and happy henging!

Solstice Again, Innit? Part the Second!

Recreation of Stonehenge made from car parts; PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo

Well, solstice is actually about over and we still haven’t produced the promised second post. We will hesitate no longer in the dubbing of our other Hengefinder General Extraordinaire: HGE Matt Penny, perpetrator, as always, of the supercalifragilistic website, Salisbury and Stonehenge dot Net. We have lost track of all of the henges and replicas he has alerted us to over the millennia during which we have been posting on the Clonehenge blog, but they have been numerous and as in the case of HGE Glastonbury, fascinating.

The one pictured above, entitled Citihenge, has, as far as we know, the honour of being the first corporately-named henge (but not as you may see at the end of this post, the only automobile henge). Not the first one built for advertising–Autohenge in Canada may hold that title. But the first, perhaps of many to come, that are named directly for a company, as advertisement. Think of it, in a few years not only replicas but even Stonehenge itself may have a corporate label: Barclay’s Bank Stonehenge, for example, or perhaps preferably, the Crawford Bourbon Biscuit Stonehenge. Oh brave new world!!

But back to Citihenge. Here is a video afforded to us by Hengefinder Apprentice Karl Dodd. Citihenge, ŠKODA advertisement video (Who is that man in the video and why is he dressed like Doctor Who?) Hmm, it refuses to embed. But we bravely forge on!

HGE Matt Penny has alerted us to everything from Stonehenge cakes, to replicas in process like the one being created in Canberra by Tracey and Robbie Wallace (on which we desperately need an update because if it doesn’t get a few lintels, it will not be hengy enough to post!), to the foamhenge we recently posted and many more. We thank and salute him for his numerous contributions!

Wait! One of the best things he steered us to has gone unmentioned. Recently he sent us a link to this article about the bouncy Stonehenge we posted about not long ago, quoting this bit:

“Jeremy Deller said: ‘A lot of my work deals with history, and Sacrilege is no exception, this is a way to get reacquainted with ancient Britain with your shoes off.’

 The first venue on this nomadic tour of the UK is the National Botanic Garden in west Wales, where the inflatable monument will be inaugurated for a second time by children from local schools and a team of local gymnasts. On this special occasion to mark the first London 2012 Festival event in Wales, entry to the Botanic Garden will be free of charge for the whole day, allowing visitors a truly once-in-a-lifetime experience. ‘Bouncers’ are being encouraged to download free ‘Druid Beards’ from the Sacrilege website – www.sacrilege2012.co.uk , colour them in and arrive in druid fancy dress.”

Emergency Druid beard

He knew that beard thing was deep in the Clonehenge spirit! As is being invited to arrive at the bouncy Stonehenge in Druid fancy dress, whatever the bleep that is! Not that it is the type of thing we do, mind you, but because it is the kind of thing that makes us smile in disbelief and reflect that while people are downloading and colouring Druid beards, and putting together their Druid fancy dress, they are not shooting each other or plotting ways to make shopping centers or other things that lay waste the land that Stonehenge was lovingly built to adorn. They are being silly, and that’s when we love mankind–in the midst of its sillinesses! We think Matt Penny knows that. For that he deserves not only the title of Hengefinder General Extraordinaire but a permanent supply of Emergency Druid beards!!

We hope you had a wonderful summer solstice, and have a lovely summer. This, we predict is the year of henging mania, so as you go about your business, keep your eyes open for Stonehenge replicas wherever you go. Submit them when you find them and you, too, may someday achieve the high order of the HGE! Until then, amigos, happy henging!

P.S.: We know of these auto henges of various sorts: the Ontario Autohenge, Carhenge in Nebraska, Dubhenge, the 1987 Glastonbury Festival car trilithon (which we have not yet posted) made by the Mutoid Waste Company of Tankhenge fame, and the Stonehenge replica made of cars for The Secret Life of Machines. That’s five and there are probably one or two more. And we don’t count the ones without lintels, so don’t be sending us links to Cadillac Ranch!

Note: At the Sacrilege inflatable Stonehenge trinkets link you will find not only theDruid beard, but a “certificate of bounce” to be filled in once you’ve bounced and…. a printable cutout henge, suitable for making your own paper Stonehenge replica! An easy way to start henging!

Solstice Again, Innit? Part the First!

wooden model made in preparation for the famous Icehenge in Alaska

When you are somewhat lazy-arsed, as we are, it helps a great deal to have friends who are not similarly handicapped. We have a number of friends who keep an eye to the news and alert us when they find new Stonehenge replicas, old ones, too, if there is a chance we haven’t seen them. Today, in honour of the summer solstice, 2012, one half year, a mere six months, until nothing happens and everyone is deeply shocked to find the world hasn’t ended after all and they are going to have to find a way to pay for all that stuff they put on their credit cards, [drumroll] we are going to award two of our alert friends and readers with the title of Hengefinder General, Extraordinaire. In this post we fete the wonderful ancient sites photographer, Mr. Peter Glastonbury of Wiltshire. No one has brought more henges to our attention or contributed more to the Clonehenge blog than this fine fellow, and we hereby thank and salute him!

The replica above is an example of the brilliant henges we have had from Hengefinder Glastonbury. It is a photo of a painted wooden model made for the crew that created the beautiful Stonehenge replica made of ice in Fairbanks, Alaska some years ago. In a message passed along to us, Martin Gutoski says of it, “A local artist made a wooden model of it at the architect scale of ¼” = 1’ for the ice carvers to use but it recently burned up with his house fire last spring.” Truly it was a thing of beauty!

Page of the June 22, 1898 issue of The Sketch

The item above is another of his recent contributions: two historical small replicas in an article entitled The Strange Story of Stonehenge, dating from the 1890s! We surmise that the top one, a replica of Stonehenge in recent times, may be one of Henry Browne’s cork models. The other, of a “completed” Stonehenge, appear to be made of wood and may be one that was on display at the British Museum or perhaps the Ashmolean. See–knowledge of Stonehenge replicas can be a scholarly pursuit! If you’re not careful. Which we are. So you needn’t worry! An interesting bit of this article is where the author mentions the theory that a sacred oak once grew in the very middle of Stonehenge. We hadn’t heard that one before.

Article from The Graphic, September 2, 1922

Hengefinder Extraordinaire Glastonbury also sent us this article with pictures of a Stonehenge model made by the author, H. N-Hutchison,  which is entitled What Stonehenge Probably Looked Like when Complete. Our favourite part of this one is near the end: “For reasons which need not be given here, the writer has ventured to put a small trilithon at the entrance, and two rather larger ones, one at each end of the horseshoe, to make it complete. … This arrangement seems to giove a finish to Stonehenge...” In other words, the fellow has added parts to Stonehenge that he thinks would make it better! We have mentioned before, but so long ago at this point that probably any of you weren’t even born yet, that even those who profess to be the greatest admirers of Stonehenge cannot seem to resist making little improvements in their reproductions of it. It is as if you took a picture of the Mona Lisa and then thought, She could be prettier, couldn’t she? and changed her features to look more like Charlize Theron.

Anyway, Hutchison says that the model in the pictures is of plasticene, but he made another of wood and donated it to the British Museum. And, no, it is not the same one that’s at the bottom of the other article. Small differences are evident to the seasoned eye of the Stonehenge replica expert, that is to say, ourselves.

The article ends, “I should like to see a full-sized reconstruction of Stonehenge made in concrete and set up somewhere close to Salisbury to show visitors what this wonderful monument was like in prehistoric times; and I am sure such a model would attract visitors to the ancient town.” Obviously, we’re all for that!! (And, yes, we know that not everyone believes that Stonehenge was ever finished. We are not interested in having that discussion here.)

So thank you to Mr. Glastonbury for his help with Clonehenge through the years. At least one time we were ready to quit the blog but kept going because he kept sending us replicas to post. He told us just today that he knows of a top secret Stonehenge replica project to be implemented some time in August, and he will bring us the news as it happens. More fun to come!

Happy summer solstice, everyone! And of course, happy henging!

Rock and Roll and the Henge Fixation–Polystyrene Version!

Paul Archer and his “clonehenge”

It didn’t start with This is Spinal Tap. Rock and roll latched onto Stonehenge early on. Let’s face it–the bluestones even come from the Preseli Hills! The Elvis connection!!! In the movie Help, Stonehenge is in the background of one scene. And check out this terrible Stonehenge replica built for the Rolling Stones:

“A Stonehenge setting for pop group The Rolling Stones …”

Oh, LOL, as they used to say in the previous century! That thing wouldn’t get a good score on this blog. It does already have its own druid, though–good setting for Keith Richards! But it illustrates the point that Spinal Tap was an extension, not an initiation of the Stonehenge/rock music connection.

Enter Paul Archer and The Saints of British Rock. We have to admit that we are not certain who the Saints of British Rock are or where they originated–the States, Canada, or the UK. But the salient point here is that Mister Paul Archer, prop-maker to the stars, made a brilliant polystyrene (aka styrofoam) Stonehenge replica for their coming tour. The nice thing about polystyrene is that it is bound to last longer than the original! The article linked to here throws in the phrase “Affectionately called ‘clonehenge’ ” Haha! What a great pun!!!

They make the rock pun, too. What fun when you write about a Stonehenge replica for your first time! Oh, WTF, just for old time’s sake, why don’t we go there? The Saints have chosen well–rock doesn’t get any more British than Stonehenge! Harharhar…. Sigh. Not as funny as we hoped,

We are impressed with this replica. It is not a ful replica, but the parts he chose to do he did well. The stones are so well shaped thatone might be able to figure out what number stone each one is. (Yes, the stones of Stonehenge, like your days, are numbered.) Score:  7 druids! It should only be 6½, but rock and roll makes us all nostalgic.

Take note–this replica was made in Victoria British Columbia, the Pacific Northwest again. There must be Stonehenge mycelium in the ground there. Henges pop up like mushrooms!

Hello to any bicycle people who have dropped by! We knew you were here by the sound of your gears popping. And to the rest of our Gentle Readers, thanks for visiting, and happy henging!

PS: Was it just us who were disappointed when we weren’t asked to participate in the Queen’s Jubilee?? Yes?  An inexplicable oversight. They shouldn’t be surprised if some guerilla henges start to appear around the palace when they least expect it. They have been warned!

Let Them Henge Cake: Sweet Stonehenge from the Land of Robin Hood!

photo, cake, and henge by Sharon Barwell of Iced-Moments, Nottingham

Let them eat cake, that takes the cake, the icing on the cake, the cake is a lie… Cake seems to enter into a lot of cliches, or are they memes now?And those who have been to Discworld have no doubt met Mrs. Cake. There is even a musical group called Cake. Ahem. That may refer to a different kind of cake, but nevertheless… We have a henge to discuss here!

It is brilliant. Wonderful. Or as the rebel colonists say, Amazing! We let the builder, Sharon Barwell, tell it in her own words:

“My friend asked me to make a cake for her husband’s birthday back on 28th April and the brief was either a mole or Stonehenge…well there was no choice in my mind, the henge it had to be!

As Pagans they had a large merry meet and the cake was cut, but only after they had sliced the henge off and saved it for all eternity! FABULOUS! I was really pleased as even though it was all edible, I just couldn’t bear to see people eating my lovingly hand-crafted standing stones or even the fallen stones! Thank goodness for my own photographs taken each time I visit, and for the National Geographic website! I tried hard to keep it to scale and had fun carving each stone individually, seeing them come to life before me…It was time consuming, but no where near as hard work as it much have been for the Ancients!”

As we seem to recall they say in Nottingham, home of this baker/artist, “Marry, that meeteth my whole heart!”

We are usually leery of anyone who uses as many exclamation points as we do!!!!! But this someone is given a pardon for having made our highest scoring cake to date. Score: 8½ druids! For more pictures, see here.

She has, as she says, paid close attention to the monument as it stands now: where the uprights and lintels and even the fallen stones are, and even better, the shapes of the individual stones. The average person often doesn’t notice, but the stones of Stonehenge are not of uniform shapes, but each has a shape of its own. Ms. Barwell took the time to sculpt each one. Remarkable!

We have seen and posted a lot of cakes. You can see the three best here, here and (cupcakes) here. Oh, and this Spinal Tap related one here, cucumber included. They are all pretty wonderful, but this one, um, takes the, hmmm, prize, shall we say. We are pleased to hear that this henge will be preserved, hopefully somewhere away from ants and children.

What is it about cake that captures the imagination of the masses? Cakes are made in every shape and size, including pops. People leap out of them, and they play a part in weddings. They are so embedded in our culture, it is no wonder they are well represented in the annals (two Ns!) of henging. We know we will see more, but for now this is the one to beat! !!!! No one matches our use of exclamation points, Sharon, no one!

Until next time, sweet friends, keep an eye on the Olympics for hidden henges, and we wish you happy henging!

Glimpses of a Carhenge–An Odd Corner of Henging History!

“The Secret Life of Machines is an educational television series presented by Tim Hunkin and Rex Garrod, in which the two explain the inner workings and history of common household and office machinery.” So says Wikipedia and why should we bother to reword it just to sound like we’re not quoting it?

Friend of the blog Josteyn Ward [about whom we know things you would not want to know about your friends!] posted this video and its henge on the Clonehenge Facebook group along with its partner video which shows a car engine, clearly meant as a sacrifice, being carried into the henge by people clad in white, starting at about23 minutes 45 seconds in. Brilliant!

On the website, they have this: “We made carhenge for the car and engine programme. There are several permanent carhenges in the world, most famously one in the US desert. Ours only lasted two months, but it had a good site, and many people made pilgrimages to it from the main road a mile away. It is best seen in the opening shot of the car programme.”

We are amazed that we never heard of this autohenge before now! It is extremely rare for a television show to make and feature its own Stonehenge replica. The history of henging has many hidden corners. Score: 8 druids, as much for the procession and sacrifice of the internal combustion engine as for the Stonehenge replica itself!

This idea of Stonehenge as a place of human sacrifice persists, but happily it is not taken as seriously as it once was. It makes an excellent basis for jokes. Nothing tickles the funny bone like an innocent person being laid out on a stone and eviscerated before a large crowd! Possibly our friend Josteyn Ward would want to speak to this. Possibly. But we don’t actually want to know.

Until the next time friends, happy henging!

We Order You to Like This Cheesehenge! (Not Facebook Like–REAL Like!)

Cheese or brilliance?

We want to like this cheesehenge by Prudence Staite. We really do. We should like this. Sigh. We order you to like it! Here’s why. It is well done with well-shaped stones. The inner trilithon horseshoe faces the remaining three-lintel stretch, which we always look for. Bluestones are included, and we believe the red cheese represents fallen stones…  So much has been done right!

We’re not certain what the crackers represent. Aubrey holes? Tourists? Hippies and policemen? And the strings of lights? No, thank you. Still, that’s not what holds us back. Maybe it’s just the angle and the photograph that make it seem so uninspired and uninspiring. We’re not sure. Maybe it’s just that it’s one of those henges that got a lot of publicity, while many brilliant ones get none or almost none. And that as a result we are forced to post it after the fact, just so it is included, even though everyone has seen it already.

At any rate, it deserves a good score. We award it 8½ phlegmatic druids. Of the many cheesehenges we have seen over the years it is by far the truest in detail.

We really do want to like it! Until next time, friends, get your henges in a row!

We Are Not Discussing the Rescue Home for Ducks!

Wastepaper Stonehenge

Once in a while, once in a great while, these days, we get the urge to post something on Clonehenge like we used to in the olden days. Not sure what brings it on–maybe it’s something we ate. Maybe it’s time to try fasting!

But for now here we are and the first henge we want to show you is this wastepaper henge, as posted by Philip Carr-Gomm. Apparently the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids needed some way to package their bard-ish and druidy bits (we don’t know what an ovate is, so we are just ignoring that part) and they decided to have someone make one for them. And so…

“a manufacturer was found – who was even more eccentric than the folk at OBOD HQ [!!!, ed.]. Run by an old hippie, the factory has won environmental awards, is situated in the Downs in a recycled chicken farm, and in their spare time the staff run a rescue home for ducks. And now they must have more time on their hands because they’ve built a replica of Stonehenge out of waste paper and cardboard. Anyone who gets one of the Order’s boxes can take satisfaction in knowing that it might have been made out of a Stonehenge…sort of…”

On a scale of one to ten, how difficult, nay, painful, do you think it is for us to proceed without devoting at least a paragraph to the phrase rescue home for ducks (henceforward RHFD)? And yet we soldier on! We have, of course, posted a garbagehenge in the past, and a clever, politically-motivated thing it was, set in the city of Montreal. This is in quite a different mood, built by employees of a company run by an old hippie on a recycled chicken farm (we have no idea how one recycles chickens! Harhar!) by people who run a RHFD. And, of course, it is made of materials that are being recycled. Bravo!

Score? We give it 6 druids. Lovely idea, presented modestly, not even posted by the people who built it. (And quite likely the only henge we have ever posted that was made by people who also ran a RHFD.)

We’re getting into the swing of this. We may have to post another henge before the night is out. Maybe it’s something we drank!

Does anyone know of an old hippie anywhere who might start a rescue home for henges? It may be an idea whose time has come. Remember, careless henging can result in a henge who has to be put down. Henge responsibly!