Stonehenge Cake at Stonehenge! Centenary Day Has Arrived!


From @EH_Stonehenge on Twitter:
“No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you, there are two monuments at Stonehenge today. One is a giant cake fit for 2,500 hungry guests!

Look at this! (And yes, we include the obvious rain in that demand.) Look at the lichen on those lintels! Look at the shapes of those stones, including the little bumps and creases! The three-lintel stretch and Stone #56! This has to be the most accurate Stonehenge cake ever (and we’ve heard it includes spiced apple and blackberry cream, or similar. We will look into this and report back with corrections to that crucial information). And there it is, with Stonehenge in the background! *sigh* Perfection.

Not far away, at the Visitor Centre, Jeremy Deller’s inflatable bouncy Stonehenge is inflated and ready for bouncing. What a day for Stonehenge and English Heritage, yes, but more importantly, what a day for Stonehenge replicas! How we wish we were there, gentle readers.

Reason for the celebration? On this day, 100 years ago, Cecil and Mary Chubb gifted Stonehenge to the nation. It hasn’t been perfect. There is reason to doubt, as Mr. Tim Daw so eloquently makes the case. And the tunnel threat could soon ruin some important landscape around it, as prominent archaeologist and Stonehenge expert Michael Parker Pearson points out.

Still, we are a humble blog about Stonehenge replicas, sitting safely in the warm and dry an ocean away from the festivities and for now we are enjoying the clonehenges associated with this celebration! Congratulations to all, including everyone at English Heritage, and may Stonehenge continue to reign in the hearts and minds of people around the world!

(And inspire them to build more and better models of it!)

Kiss the stones for us!

“I can recognise every stone” A Stonehenge Expert Visits a Replica!

This is too good not to share. Watch and listen as Mike Pitts, archaeologist and self-proclaimed Stonehenge geek, has a look around Sacrilege, the inflatable bouncy Stonehenge, with its maker, artist Jeremy Deller. Mike Pitts recognises and discusses individual stones he knows from Stonehenge itself while enjoying his first-ever experience on a bouncy castle. Meanwhile children are bouncing and shouting all around them. We found this video utterly delightful!

You know you have made a top-notch Stonehenge replica when Mike Pitts goes out of his way to visit it and takes time to admire and point out characteristics he recognises from the original stones. Take note, hengers.

Bouncy Bouncy Druids, and a Stonehenge Guide You Must All Buy!

bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy druids

As we are sure you realise, every post on the Clonehenge blog is tested and retested on animals. (Don’t worry, scientists carefully select for that purpose only individual animals that no one likes, ones that tell dull family stories over and over, and who talk over you whenever you try to say something especially witty.) Once a post is confirmed as safe, the papers have to be submitted to the appropriate ministries for approval and sometimes they are sent to a committee, debated, and then brought before Parliament for a full debate. Needless to say, all of this takes time, which means that despite the fact that we write posts very quickly and very often, you see new posts only rarely.

However today we have asked for and received an executive edict expediting approval of this post. It was incredibly important for you to see and hear the above video, and also for you to be notified of the release of the new Stonehenge Guide for iPad.

First, we should explain the video. Unfortunately we have no idea who this Mitch Benn bloke is, so all we can say is: this video concerning Jeremy Deller’s inflatable Stonehenge replica which is called Sacrilege and is now touring the UK, is in the Clonehenge spirit and receives the Clonehenge Seal of Approval. The blow-up sheep are also backed by Clonehenge, to be sent in aid packages to Scotland and New Zealand to ease the pressures on the livestock there!

As for the Stonehenge Guide for iPad, we are pleased to announce that it was written and produced by none other than Hengefinder General Extraordinaire Mr. Pete Glastonbury! Few if any people have the background in both science and lore concerning Stonehenge that Mr. Glastonbury can boast. The iTunes preview reads: “A Visitors Guide to Stonehenge for the first time visitor showing the nearby monuments and the latest archaeological excavations. A history of the site is shown in old prints and photographs showing its reconstruction. Interactive 360 panoramas show the nearby monuments in relation to Stonehenge.

Of course they are modestly avoiding the Absolute Greatest Thing about this guide, but we are not afraid to speak out! The Stonehenge Guide for iPad MENTIONS CLONEHENGE!!!!1!! Or so we are told. We actually don’t have an iPad ourselves. We could afford hundreds, of course, but last year Steve Jobs gave us this spherical iPad he made only two of, one for us and one for his alien overlords, so we haven’t bothered to get a regular one. However, this guide was not configured for iSphere, so if someone could take a screenshot of the Clonehenge mention and post it where we can see it, we would be much obliged. Remember, English Heritage is monitoring sales of this Stonehenge guide, and if insufficient interest is shown, they will go forward with plans to bulldoze Stonehenge to make room for a state-of-the-art Walmart. So buy three! Buy ten! They don’t take up much room.

Before we go, we must mention that the video link above was provided to us by Sylvia MacPuss of the Henge Collective. The Henge Collective is the topic of a Clonehenge post now working its way though committee, and if the Tories don’t drag their feet, we should have that special rhyming post called The Henge Collective Inaugurates Clonehenge: The Musical! by September. Earlier if we actually start working on it!

Keep dry (or keep cool if you are Stateside) and happy henging!

Bouncy Stonehenge: Nothing Less Than the Culmination of All of Human Endeavor!

Screen shot from this BBC video . Don’t not watch it!

All of our faithful readers know that we are quiet and moderate in speech. We avoid hyperbole even if it takes the strength of ten thousand atom bombs, because we know that hyperbole is the greatest threat the universe faces. So when we say that this bouncy castle Stonehenge built by Jeremy Deller is the ultimate culmination of the entire history of human civilisation, nay, of everything that has happened since the Big Bang, you know you can believe what we say and repeat it without fear of embarrassment.

A bouncy inflatable Stonehenge.  We have been calling for an inflatable Stonehenge since at least our second (or was it third?) Spinal Tap post, in October of 2009, and for a bouncy Stonehenge since the Irish bouncy dolmen post, in July of 2011. And it appears that the universe, or perhaps Turner Prize-winning artist Jeremy Deller, was listening!

One man in the video is asked. “Is it art?’ and answers, “For me–aye.  It’s as good as it gets, isn’t it?” Another fellow says he would like one in his backyard and the BBC presenter asks, “You would like an inflatable Stonehenge in your backyard?” and the answer is, “Yes, I would. Yes. Who wouldn’t?” (Italics are ours.)

Those two men may never have read the Clonehenge blog, but they are honorary friends of Clonehenge and would be given full member privileges if they ever visited the Clonehenge Private Club and (mini) Golf Course. They understand true greatness when they see it. No wonder the world is going to end in 2012. Mankind can reach no greater height than this!

We are not told in this video where this Stonehenge is right now [we are now told it is Glasgow, which leaves more questions, like—why?], but apparently it will be traveling around the island of Great Britain during the Olympics. Happy to know that at least one interesting thing will be happening there in 2012! What a shame we can’t add this to our list of 72 Large Permanent Replicas, but that would require quite a lot of puncture repair kits!

Our hope is that eventually many of these bouncy Stonehenges will be made and placed in prominent places in cities, and backyards, around the world. Let’s hope they keep it to Stonehenge, though. No one wants a bouncy Rosslyn Chapel or a bouncy Angkor Watt, do we? ….

…. Or do we?! Hmmm. Taking comments on that.

At any rate, it is clear now that this is what English Heritage should have at the Visitor Centre, with smaller ones available in the gift shop. As to score, well, it seems obvious that out of a possible score of ten druids, this one goes to eleven. It’s one louder!

P.S.: Our thanks to the Mike Pitts Digging Deeper blog for giving us a mention. He says “Good places to start to see some of these are at Wikipedia and – best of all – Clonehenge.” We wish we were humble enough to say he is wrong.

And so until next time, Clonehengians, happy henging!

The BBC Inflatable Trilithon–Bring on the Helium!

photo by Thelma June Jackson, used with permission.

Is it just us, or has there been a surge of Stonehenge-related news (ish?) lately? Of course when it comes to this obscure topic, it IS just us: Stonehenge-Replicas-R-Us! (Which it happens is the name of our new retail outlet, still in development… Okay, then, very early stages of development… Oh, all right, we just then made it up. Happy? Now stop interrupting!)

Anyway, this is the first, and the most earthshaking, of a few posts for which we have been forced to come out of retirement, which, we find, is much less restful than one might think anyway. We present to you, Gentle Readers, the fabled inflatable Stonehenge! It’s only a trilithon, but with the way Stonehenge has been reproducing around the world, a full Stonehenge is only a matter of time. Just lock this trilithon in a room with one of Spinal Tap’s inflatable touring trilithons and in no time there will be little inflatable Stonehenges hopping about the fields and meadows, looking adorable while American and Japanese tourists snap away on their cameras! Exciting.

Until then, this remarkable construction is being hauled around Great Britain–well, minus Scotland and Cornwall–as part of the BBC’s Hands on History tour, The Secrets of Stonehenge, for half term break.  Brilliantly, people have been kind enough to take pictures the same way they might for someone who had a legitimate worthwhile blog, but for us instead!

photo by the Wiltshire Heritage Museum, used with permission

Note how the “logs” in the top picture are being used to roll the fourth “stone” in the second picture. Children and presumably some adults* are permitted to try their hands at moving an inflatable megalith. Fun!

Of course, the real stones at Stonehenge are not light weight inflatables, but are huge, enormously heavy rocks. We don’t actually know that they aren’t hollowed out, though. Some, in fact, suggest that they’re filled with a very advanced sort of clockwork for which the Antikythera mechanism was just a mock-up, and that on December 21, 2012, a huge stone clown’s head will leap out of the ground in the center of the circle while the stones play, “Pop goes the weasel!” Frankly, it’s no loonier than much of what we hear said about Stonehenge, so who knows?

After all that blithering nonsense we come to the score. The thing these inflatables have going for them is that they are close to full size. Adds a full point. Some trouble has been taken to make them look rough and uneven. They are educational and can be touched by children… We award these trilithons 6½ druids! That is possibly the highest score we have ever given t0 a mere trilithon!(Meaning we can’t be arsed to check.)

The illusive inflatable Stonehenge finally appears on Clonehenge. We’ll post one again when it’s listed in next year’s Ann Summers catalogue. Finally inflatables will make it possible to live two great fantasies at once. Humph. And people say the future isn’t bright!

*Those who, unlike one adult we won’t name (but who rhymes with Feet Crastonbury), could be trusted to approach the inflatables without attempting to pop them.

NEWSFLASH!! As of April 19, 2012, the inflatable Stonehenge dream has been even more fully realised! Click here for our post on Jeremy Deller’s inflatable bouncy Stonehenge. Humbling to see mankind reach its highest purpose in our lifetimes, is it not?

Spinal Tap–The Other Stone’enges!

Stone_Henge_tapphoto by Peter Renn, from the BBC

It is not at all clear what the little Stonehenge replica, actually a mere trilithon, in the movie This Is Spinal Tap, is made of. Some say it was inflatable, some say it was made of foam. We dedicated our 100th post to that one, the only Stonehenge replica most people have ever seen. But there have been others.

Spinal Tap, although a mock band, also tours, and on some but not all of their tours they have had other Stone’enges, at least one of which, and possibly all of which, were inflatable. Inflatable but apparently not always inflated. People who attended their concert at the Wembley arena in July report that they had trouble, um, keeping it at attention . . .

Spinal Tap - StonehengeAt a Glastonbury concert in June they had a rather smaller one, but it appears to have been closer to 4 feet than 18 inches high.

The inflatable Stonehenge is in general a much rumoured but rarely seen item. It is said one was commissioned a few years ago for a high end party in Manhattan, but if there are pictures of it online, we have not found them. There may be others, too, rentable for paint ball skirmishes and the like, but those, too, we cannot find.

We think it is an unfilled niche! Why doesn’t every party place have inflatable Stonehenges to rent for garden parties and village events? We can imagine them at fairs, music festivals, all kinds of gatherings. And, of course, eventually someone would be seized by the urge to fill them with helium. A floating inflatable Stonehenge! It would be something the world has never seen. And we don’t just mean a trilithon, people! Think of it!

Score for the Spinal Tap touring trilithons: 5 druids. And it’s that high only because they’re funny and because, let’s face it, they put Stonehenge replicas on the map. We want to thank Emma Harrison, bigmollusk, of World Before Wireless, for pointing these out to us. Emma, we await that inflatable Stonehenge you promised us. Deadline is December 21!

Rock On, dudes!