A Subjective Perspective on the Henge Collective! Or, Clonehenge the Doggerel!

photo from the Henge Collective Facebook page, used with permission

And now we present: Clonehenge the Doggerel!

We have decided it is time
To do a Clonehenge post in rhyme.
But what fine henge
Should be the victim
Of this arbitrary dictum?
No henge! Instead it’s our objective
To tell you of–the Henge Collective!

Some friends went up to Blackford Hill– Well, maybe first they stopped at Tesco– Some sunshine had dispersed the chill, So they resolved to dine alfresco. One found two stones and put them upright, A lintel added over top, Creating a faux sacred stone site. Since then they’ve found it hard to stop. Henge building now their prime directive–They have become the Henge Collective!

Now people join from far and wide, Their hope to fill the world with henges, Some are narrow and some wide, Some quite tall , some low like benges. [hmm… this isn’t going as well as we hoped!] They’re invited in to build, at music festivals and gardens, Henges by which all are thrilled, except if they prefer a Tardis. [Drat!  Doesn’t quite work, we know, but it’s a rule of thumb that mentioning a Tardis can improve anything…] This post is proving quite defective, but before you hurl invective, we will return to our objective, and hail once more–the Henge Collective!

There. Well. That’s done, then. Sort of. Waiting for the applause to fade.

Rufus T. Firefly, a founding member of the Henge Collective tells us:  “Just to let you know, The Henge Collective have been invited to a music festival. They want us to build one for them.” That would be the  Audio Soup Festival, in case you want to stop by.

For more on the Henge Collective and its activities, visit the group at its Facebook group, which, sadly, is much larger than the Clonehenge group! They are based in Scotland, but welcome members from around the world.

In other news, please consider supporting the US Stonehenge Tour Kickstarter. A post on this will follow. Soon. Ish.

Also, if you have been dragged to Great Britain for some kind of sporting event and sport is not your passion so you are considering a visit to Stonehenge, remember the Stonehenge Guide for iPad, written by none other than Mr. Pete Glastonbury, for whom no superlative (or expletive) is sufficient! Few people know Stonehenge and its context and history as well as he does, and his guide gives new perspectives to the old monument. See comment on the previous post for a review.

Sorry it has taken us so long to post. Blame it on the Olympic Committee. It’s bound to be their fault somehow! And to all of our lovely readers, happy henging! (Should henging be an Olympic event? Discuss!)

Bouncy Bouncy Druids, and a Stonehenge Guide You Must All Buy!

bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy druids

As we are sure you realise, every post on the Clonehenge blog is tested and retested on animals. (Don’t worry, scientists carefully select for that purpose only individual animals that no one likes, ones that tell dull family stories over and over, and who talk over you whenever you try to say something especially witty.) Once a post is confirmed as safe, the papers have to be submitted to the appropriate ministries for approval and sometimes they are sent to a committee, debated, and then brought before Parliament for a full debate. Needless to say, all of this takes time, which means that despite the fact that we write posts very quickly and very often, you see new posts only rarely.

However today we have asked for and received an executive edict expediting approval of this post. It was incredibly important for you to see and hear the above video, and also for you to be notified of the release of the new Stonehenge Guide for iPad.

First, we should explain the video. Unfortunately we have no idea who this Mitch Benn bloke is, so all we can say is: this video concerning Jeremy Deller’s inflatable Stonehenge replica which is called Sacrilege and is now touring the UK, is in the Clonehenge spirit and receives the Clonehenge Seal of Approval. The blow-up sheep are also backed by Clonehenge, to be sent in aid packages to Scotland and New Zealand to ease the pressures on the livestock there!

As for the Stonehenge Guide for iPad, we are pleased to announce that it was written and produced by none other than Hengefinder General Extraordinaire Mr. Pete Glastonbury! Few if any people have the background in both science and lore concerning Stonehenge that Mr. Glastonbury can boast. The iTunes preview reads: “A Visitors Guide to Stonehenge for the first time visitor showing the nearby monuments and the latest archaeological excavations. A history of the site is shown in old prints and photographs showing its reconstruction. Interactive 360 panoramas show the nearby monuments in relation to Stonehenge.

Of course they are modestly avoiding the Absolute Greatest Thing about this guide, but we are not afraid to speak out! The Stonehenge Guide for iPad MENTIONS CLONEHENGE!!!!1!! Or so we are told. We actually don’t have an iPad ourselves. We could afford hundreds, of course, but last year Steve Jobs gave us this spherical iPad he made only two of, one for us and one for his alien overlords, so we haven’t bothered to get a regular one. However, this guide was not configured for iSphere, so if someone could take a screenshot of the Clonehenge mention and post it where we can see it, we would be much obliged. Remember, English Heritage is monitoring sales of this Stonehenge guide, and if insufficient interest is shown, they will go forward with plans to bulldoze Stonehenge to make room for a state-of-the-art Walmart. So buy three! Buy ten! They don’t take up much room.

Before we go, we must mention that the video link above was provided to us by Sylvia MacPuss of the Henge Collective. The Henge Collective is the topic of a Clonehenge post now working its way though committee, and if the Tories don’t drag their feet, we should have that special rhyming post called The Henge Collective Inaugurates Clonehenge: The Musical! by September. Earlier if we actually start working on it!

Keep dry (or keep cool if you are Stateside) and happy henging!