Tag Archives for Stonehenge Visitor Centre

Exposé: Shocking Photos From Our Visit to the Heart of the International Henge Trade!

poshest Stonehenge replica at the store

poshest Stonehenge replica at the store

Once upon a time, we thought we’d died and gone to Heaven. But it was just the store at the Stonehenge Visitor Centre.  Here is some of what we saw in our undercover foray into the international trade in henges of all kinds.

shelves full of Stonehenge replica: Clonehenge dream or Clonehenge nightmare??

shelves full of Stonehenge replicas: Clonehenge dream or Clonehenge nightmare??

more Stonehenges for sale!

more Stonehenges for sale! a snowglobe, a plaster model, a game, a ring, pens with trilithon charms, and a purple vinyl trilithon…

And what you see here is just a portion of what we witnessed during our investigative visit to discover the extent of the Stonehenge replica trafficking in which English Heritage is deeply implicated. Turns out they are waist deep in serious international trade in henge knock-offs, most of which are not even made in England.

This is the epicentre of a henge contagion that is spreading around the world, carried in the hands of innocent tourists. And yet, brazenly and without shame, EH displays its wares out in the open for anyone to see, with some even targeting the youngest and most innocent among us.

(In the interest of full disclosure, we bought a small Stonehenge in a tin, not pictured here, and a set of the chocolate trilithons, for medicinal purposes only!)

Of course there is still a place for the handmade henge, the Stonehenge made of food, and the garden replica, so until next time, gentle readers, happy henging!

Aerial pattern of the stones of Stonehenge, done in beads!

Aerial pattern of the stones of Stonehenge, done in pink beads! Is this meant for little girls???

more, more, more!!!

more, more, more!!! a pop-up book, another snowglobe, etched plexiglass, gold-tone and silver-tone trilithon pendants, chocolate trilithons, cheap molded Stonehenge models and trilithons, and the Stonehenge Anthology board game

Toilet Façade Henge, Alas, Gone Down the Tubes!

the toilet block at Stonehenge's old visitor centre, photo by Tim Daw, used with permission

toilet block at Stonehenge’s old visitor centre, photo by Tim Daw, used with permission

We have seen the toilet henges and the bog roll tube henges, and even one or two that appeared to be made from, well, something a dog left behind. So there is no reason to be squeamish about this one, right? These are the doors of the toilets at the old Stonehenge visitor centre, crafted and painted to give a suggestion of the monument itself.

Toilet at the old Stonehenge visitor centre, photo by Tim Daw

Toilet at the old Stonehenge visitor centre, photo by Tim Daw

There is a new visitor centre now, of course, and these have been torn down and carted away (presumably in bits. We doubt anyone would choose to keep them as memorabilia), disappeared forever. So this post is a last gesture of appreciation to whatever unknown person or people decided that a Stonehenge visitor centre needed Stonehenge toilets.

We’re certain there must be a theory out there proposing that Stonehenge must be an ancient toilet, probably for aliens. Every possible theory about Stonehenge eventually gets thought of; not only thought of, but fervently believed in and maniacally evangelised. The toilet theory of Stonehenge seems unlikely, and we don’t expect it to get much play in the media. Still, who knows what the future will bring!

We could have made a lot of bad toilet-related puns in this post, but we have been dancing around in a desperate effort to hold them in. We knew how you would appreciate it.

Our sincerest thanks to the inimitable Tim Daw, and until next time, of course, dear friends, we wish you happy henging!

Happy Winter Solstice to All!

a bronze display model of Stonehenge in the new Visitor Centre

a bronze display model of Stonehenge in the new Visitor Centre

There is much to celebrate for Stonehenge lovers this week! Winter solstice is upon us, arguably the date for which Stonehenge was built, and the date of its great early festivals, AND this week marked the opening, at long last, of the new Stonehenge Visitor Centre. No more parking in the car park near Stonehenge and going through a dodgy underpass. Now you pay lots of money , er, we mean, get to go into a world class visitor centre and…

“Visitors will be collected by Land Rovers drawing surprisingly elegant little carriages—English Heritage staff have been using them as quiet, comfortable meeting rooms to escape the building site—and taken to the stones.”

The nice bit is:

“The shuttles will stop halfway at a little wood – one of the myriad abandoned alternative sites for the centre – offering visitors the option of walking across fields to the monument, or continuing on to be dropped a short stroll from the stones. Although English Heritage cares for the monument, thousands of surrounding acres belong to the National Trust, and new signboards are being installed in the fields explaining the barrows, avenues and mounds which speckle the landscape.”

a panorama at the Centre permits the experience of solstice sunrise all year long

a panorama at the Centre permits the experience of solstice sunrise all year long

But the Visitor Centre itself is packed with goodies, and an esteemed Friend of the Blog who went in and did reconnaissance for us, says that there are numerous Stonehenge models to be seen there (like the bronze one at the top of this post, with the solstice line marked on it plainly), as well as the panorama/virtual Stonehenge experience, seen above, that allows it to be solstice sunrise all day every day!

The gift shop offers Stonehenge models of various sizes: infant, toddler, child, and teen, from what we can see—the seeds of Stonehenge to be carried far and wide, where people will see them and—voilà!—want to make more Stonehenges! The contagion spreads, while also becoming more concentrated, ever more Stonehenges in the world What is the Stonehenge saturation point? Only time will tell.

And time is what the solstice is all about (see how we crudely and artlessly brought this post back to its subject? Oh, yes we did, uhuh, uhuh!). May your solstice (and whatever other holidays may be scattered in its general vicinity) be lovely and happy and fun and wonderful! Enjoy life while you can still walk around without stepping on Stonehenges. Mark our words: if things continue as they’ve been going, that may not last much longer!

And until next time, Gentle Friends, we wish you and yours happy henging!