Tag Archives for chocolate Stonehenge

Exposé: Shocking Photos From Our Visit to the Heart of the International Henge Trade!

poshest Stonehenge replica at the store

poshest Stonehenge replica at the store

Once upon a time, we thought we’d died and gone to Heaven. But it was just the store at the Stonehenge Visitor Centre.  Here is some of what we saw in our undercover foray into the international trade in henges of all kinds.

shelves full of Stonehenge replica: Clonehenge dream or Clonehenge nightmare??

shelves full of Stonehenge replicas: Clonehenge dream or Clonehenge nightmare??

more Stonehenges for sale!

more Stonehenges for sale! a snowglobe, a plaster model, a game, a ring, pens with trilithon charms, and a purple vinyl trilithon…

And what you see here is just a portion of what we witnessed during our investigative visit to discover the extent of the Stonehenge replica trafficking in which English Heritage is deeply implicated. Turns out they are waist deep in serious international trade in henge knock-offs, most of which are not even made in England.

This is the epicentre of a henge contagion that is spreading around the world, carried in the hands of innocent tourists. And yet, brazenly and without shame, EH displays its wares out in the open for anyone to see, with some even targeting the youngest and most innocent among us.

(In the interest of full disclosure, we bought a small Stonehenge in a tin, not pictured here, and a set of the chocolate trilithons, for medicinal purposes only!)

Of course there is still a place for the handmade henge, the Stonehenge made of food, and the garden replica, so until next time, gentle readers, happy henging!

Aerial pattern of the stones of Stonehenge, done in beads!

Aerial pattern of the stones of Stonehenge, done in pink beads! Is this meant for little girls???

more, more, more!!!

more, more, more!!! a pop-up book, another snowglobe, etched plexiglass, gold-tone and silver-tone trilithon pendants, chocolate trilithons, cheap molded Stonehenge models and trilithons, and the Stonehenge Anthology board game

Clonehenge Goes to Stonehenge: Investigating the Source of the Plague!

Stonehenge—Warning: NOT A REPLICA!

(Warning: this is NOT A REPLICA !) Stonehenge photo by Pete Glastonbury, used with permission. 

Well, the word is out, so we may as well say it here: the entire staff of Clonehenge.com is headed for the UK and, against the justifiable objections of everyone at English Heritage (probably), will be visiting Stonehenge itself in early June!

Despite the well-known dangers of brain infection that we have documented here on this blog for many years, we have decided that, for the sake of the future of mankind and, indeed, of the entire planet and all of its living things, it is nothing short of our duty to investigate the source of the contagion that is spreading little Stonehenges across the globe. So on an undisclosed day in the next few weeks, we will don our hazmat suits, or possibly a mack and Wellies, and approach the dreaded structure that so many foolish and unsuspecting tourists willingly view in the course of a year.

Thank you. Thank you. Yes, we deserve that thundering applause for our courage and self-sacrifice, but of course we are far too modest to admit it! We are, it is true, still awaiting our funding from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, Georgia, as well as our funding from the World Health Organisation, but we’re certain they will come through.

Miniature Stonehenge Model in a Tin, as sold at the Visitor Centre

Miniature Stonehenge Model in a Tin, as sold at the Visitor Centre

While there we hope to investigate stories we’ve heard of numerous Stonehenge replicas, large and small, sold at the Stonehenge Visitor Centre, including a particularly close inspection of certain chocolate trilithons of which we have been hearing ominous rumours!

Stonehenge of chocolate trilithons by @SchPrehistory on Twitter

Stonehenge of chocolate trilithons by @SchPrehistory on Twitter

Is it possible that EH or certain shadowy figures associated with the World Heritage Site are complicit in the plot to cover the earth with bad Stonehenge replicas by bringing in millions of tourists to contaminate their minds and then have them take home contagious gifts to families and friends? To find out the truth, we will stop at nothing, even including eating chocolate! It is a tough assignment, but we reluctantly and humbly accept it.

While in the environs, we hope to see other Stonehenge replicas and possibly Avebury and Silbury replicas, too. And the real ones as well. We will report back to our vast but quiet (very very quiet, but we know you’re out there! You are, aren’t you?) fandom.

So wish us luck in our hazardous endeavour. If you never hear from us again, well, you may assume we’re just being as lazy as always!

Until next time, gentle readers, happy henging!

Gourmet White Chocolate Stonehenge: It’s Good–Almost Too Good

photo by Bobby Yip from Reuters

Gourmet chocolatier Mirco Della Vecchia created this white chocolate Stonehenge as part of his Chocolate World Heritage show. Other sculptures in chocolate included the Tower of Pisa, the Colosseum, the Arc de Triomphe, the Parthenon, and the Egyptian Temple Abu Simbel. Each was reproduced in excruciating detail, down to the toes of the pharaohs, the crumbling of the Colosseum, and the shapes of the individual stones at Stonehenge!

We have been putting off posting this because, frankly, it is too good, and not in the true spirit of Clonehenge. What are we supposed to say about this? Complain about the lack of a ditch and bank or a heel stone? This Stonehenge model appears to be beautifully done down to the finest detail, although perhaps we should contact Mr. Della Vecchia and ask to have it sent here for closer inspection. And extensive tasting. Oops, we meant testing. Heh.

Our only other comment would be that we think he probably had the normal compulsion to do a Stonehenge but didn’t want to seem like a crackpot, so he did the others and called it Chocolate World Heritage in order to cover it up.

Score: 7 druids. We have deducted ½ druid for an absence of desirable wackiness. He could easily have added an alien or a replica Tardis if he wanted to achieve an 8. Lighten up, Mirco! But don’t worry–we DO accept bribes.

Still building suspense for the New Jersey personal garden henge. We can hear your hearts pounding! Both of them. So until then, Doctor, happy henging!