Clonehenge’s End-of-the-World Henge Fest and Contest! Competitive Henging: Preparing for the Next Olympics!

photo by Pete Glastonbury, henge by 13-year-old Sammy Glastonbury!

Since there are less than two full months until the saucers come to land on all the Stonehenge replicas we are building for them, and emerge to take over the world, this is mankind’s last chance to enjoy freestyle henging before building henges/saucer platforms becomes required slave labour for all of us. Clonehenge, therefore, has taken the decision to declare a new contest!

The last contest we ran got exactly one entry, and that winner, because we are despicable, never received her prize. We are sure she is lurking somewhere as we speak,  acquiring fell superpowers and planning our spectacular demise!

We can’t let that happen again, so this time the reward is simpler: a new page, not post but a new page like The Rules of Henginess is a page, with a link at the top, will be created on Clonehenge to showcase the five best henges we receive. The rules are as follows:

1. The henge or Stonehenge replica, using the terms interchangeably, cannot have existed before October 21, 2012. It must be created and submitted either on the Clonehenge Facebook group wall , on the Clonehenge Facebook page timeline, or possibly by sending it to @Clonehenge on Twitter, or by email to nancydotwisseratgmaildotcom. (She’s our secretary.) Deadline is December 21, 2012 at midnight California time.

2. Each submission should include at least one photograph–more are preferred–and certain information: the materials, the maker or makers, the location, anything amusing that happened during its creation, whether it is the maker(s)’s first venture into henging, and other fun things like friends’ and relatives’ reactions, spooky druid occurrences brought on by it, whether it will be or has been destroyed, and anything else relevant. Information left out will not disqualify a henge if it is provided upon request.

3. Any materials are permitted. Originality and humour are encouraged and will add points just as accuracy does or more so. Figures, Lego or otherwise, of people or other living things, added to the henge to create a tableau, are permitted. If the henge is large, real people, animals,or aliens may be included in the photos. Themed henges  (Star Wars henge, Hobbit Henge, Twilight Henge, Price Is Right henge, etc. –or Pokemon Henge, Little Pony Henge, Hello Kitty Henge, Godzilla henge, Godzilla Meets Hello Kitty Henge… possibilities are endless! ) are welcome.

4. Obscenity or nudity will disqualify an entry regardless of its quality otherwise, as will anything negative about any kind of people.

5. No badgerhenges with real badgers.

That’s all we can think of now, but we found it was fun making rules so we may think up more and add them just for the thrill of ordering people around! Close your right eye.  Now close your left eye. Touch the tip of your nose with your tongue. This is fun!

The outstanding entry pictured above was created from small lava lamps by 13-year-old Sammy Glastonbury and submitted on October 23, 2012 by her father, hengefinder and longtime friend of the blog, Pete Glastonbury. It sets a high standard for aspiring hengers, but remember, if you can’t do beauty like this, try humour!

What’s that you say? You don’t see lintels? Look a little closer and you will see a small dark linteled circle among the lights. And the inner horseshoe helps its henginess, even the general shape and proportions of the lamps. Sammy Glastonbury–we see what you did there! Well done!

Do you have a brilliant henge lurking within you? Can you show us a henge such as has never been made before?? This is your chance to show the world (or at least the five people who read this blog)!!!Your henging self is your true self. Show us who you are!

And, until next time, gentle readers, happy henging!

Celebrating Sixty: A Battenberg Cakehenge. (Please Welcome Our Special Guest Blogger!)

Battenberg Henge and picture by Sylvia MacPuss

Greetings, Readers! We have a treat for you today. Possibly. Clonehenge has never had a guest blogger, but a certain individual got in touch with us and proposed convincingly that he/she be allowed to give it a try. This person insisted on complete anonymity, but I don’t think we’re giving any clues when we say that he/she has never tried blogging before, or any kind of written humour, but is keen to give it a try. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for our Anonymous Guest Blogger!

Hello, lovely people! One is most pleased to have this opportunity to take part in this wonderful blog, which one has admired for so long. As a life-long resident of the United Kingdom and, indeed, of England, one cannot help but take pride in the glory that is Stonehenge and in the Stonehenge landscape, even if one’s ancestors arrived only one thousand or so years ago, much too recently to have been among those who built it! One has visited the great stones oneself and found that they have great and deep secrets to whisper to one who has deep feelings for this fair island that means so much to so many.

One also feels that humour is much needed in our society today. As part of a family or community in the modern day, people experience untold strains, such as, for a random example, the lascivious exploitation of one’s beloved grandchildren by a money hungry and uncaring media. Sometimes one can only turn to one’s dear pets and look about for a place to have a laugh. One has turned more than once to Clonehenge, among other places, to lighten one’s heart in the dark times and gain strength to carry on as one must.

The henge or, more properly,  Stonehenge replica, one has chosen for one’s first timourous foray into blogging and humour is the delightful confection shown above. It was tenderly created by a daughter for her lovely mother, quite touching, for the mother’s 60th birthday. One hopes the celebration was as charming as the cake. One had a 60th celebration oneself recently and found it most heartening!

The cake the henge is made from is Battenberg cake, named after an ancestor of Prince Philip, your Queen’s husband, and a man one happens to know personally! (Once in a while, we are told, it is permitted to drop a name or two.)  The replica itself, it is true, is no accurate depiction of the towering and enigmatic stones that loom, echoing with time, on the Salisbury Plain of our beautiful Wiltshire. Yet one gives it a score of six (6) druids, one more than recommended by the gracious people of Clonehenge, simply because it evokes in one a longing for one’s dearly departed mother.

One has seen other Stonehenge replicas. Just this summer past, one traveled incognito to have a gentle hop on Jeremy Deller’s ingenious bouncy replica, called Sacrilege. One was charmed, but after seeing this video of the two of them bouncing and discussing it, one could not help but think that if only one were younger, one would not have minded having a few bounces with Mr. Mike Pitts! On the bouncy Stonehenge. Because he knows so much about the stones. What?

Well, one can see that one is a failure at humour on one’s first try. Clonehenge has assured one that one may try again when one feels ready. Just the attempt has raised one’s spirits! Thank you very much to one’s Readers, whether or not they are one’s subj friends! And to Clonehenge. It has been wonderful to drop one’s persona and be utterly anonymous for a change. Bless you all.

And there you have it. Our first post by the anonymous guest blogger! We have one more thing to mention before we close out. Hengefinder General Extraordinaire Matt Penny has been down with the whooping cough. We ask you all to wish him well. We also want to remind him that we told him to keep away from those swans because no good could come of it! May he be back on his feet, flogging the Salisbury and Stonehenge beat, before another day goes by!

And until next time, friends, happy henging!

Festival Henges, 2012! Part Two: Yet Another Burning Man Henge!

BASShenge at the Burning Man Festival, 2012

Way back in January (remember January?) we did a post about some people who were collecting money in order to build a Stonehenge replica at Burning Man: not just any Stonehenge replica, but one made of bass speakers, making it rather reminiscent of the Solhenge made of speakers at the 2004 Burning Man Festival. Well, here it is!

The proportions, height to width, are not bad. It looks as if they chose to reproduce only the center trilithon horseshoe of Stonehenge, changing the trilithons at either end of the horseshoe to monoliths. A sequence of pictures including the building of the henge can be seen here.

Score? 6 druids for these guys! This took some planning and team work, and looks enough like Stonehenge to pass, and we are told that they did align it to the sun and moon, although we have no details on that.

Some research suggests that music may have been among the uses for the real Stonehenge in its heyday. We like potential links to the builders and ancient visitors to Stonehenge. It is possible that a number of things that go on at Burning Man might have been recognisable to pilgrims and celebrant on Salisbury Plain thousands of years ago! Well done, Burners!

Now to the bigger question. Why does Burning Man generate so many Stonehenge replicas? Why, in fact, do festivals in general breed Stonehenge replicas at a fair rate? We are reminded not only of the many Burning Man replicas (mentioned here and here in a list that is probably not comprehensive), but also replicas including the one at the Audio Soup Festival, one at the Elf Fantasy Fair in 2008, and one at Ireland’s Oxegen Music Festival in 2009. It seems that the Mutoid Waste Company has set up a few henges at festivals, there are Hugh Jart’s Dubhenge and Banksy’s Privy Henge, both of which showed up at the Glastonbury Festival on, different years, and of course the wonderful Citrus-Henge at the lemon festival in the Riviera one year!

If we were to pursue the idea (which we in fact just made up) that the original uses of Stonehenge itself are the most likely situations to generate replicas now, then festivals obviously should be generating these henges, since evidence of gathering and feasting has been found in excavations near Stonehenge. One must beware, however, of reversing that idea to suggest that things that now generate replicas must be original uses for Stonehenge, unless one is prepared to assert that crazy golf was common in the Neolithic. Before we would assert that we would have to have an awful lot of that stuff that gets passed around at Burning Man!*

Music, festive gatherings, feasting, observing the heavens, time measurement, healing, intoxication, mysticism, and sport, all of these ancient pursuits and more have connections to modern Stonehenge replicas. When people build these things, maybe they are getting in touch with their ancestors even as they laugh and joke about it, getting in touch with those things that, despite huge changes, have remained the same.

Something to think about, or drink to! Until next time, friends, happy henging!

*Or maybe just a lot of mead. Recently someone suggested to us that Stonehenge was a huge tavern. The alcohol connection, which we have pointed out in the past.

Festival Henges, 2012! Part One: Audio Soup Festival

One trilithon of the Audio Soup Henge, decorated

Back after our delightful holidays which included a funeral, an alarming incident in which we fell on our faces, and a bad cold. If you hear us coughing or sniffling during this post, kindly pretend not to notice!

We know of two henges built for festivals this summer, although there were almost certainly more somewhere. The trilithon in the photo above belongs to one made by the infamous Henge Collective for a music festival called Audio Soup in Garvald, East Lothian (that’s Scotland, for those who are opening a tab for Google just now). interestingly, they were invited to henge at the festival, the first instance we’ve heard of public henging by invitation!

We know what you’re sitting there thinking. It doesn’t look much like Stonehenge. True, but you have to understand that the Henge Collective are sort of the Impressionists or almost Abstract Expressionists of the henging world. They deal in nuance, subtly suggesting Stonehenge rather than blatantly coming out and screaming it. At least that is what we choose to believe!

We do like the knit or crochet decorations. We are of the school who believe that originally the stones of Stonehenge were decorated, both permanently in some ways and seasonally with more colourful and perishable things draped and laid at their bases, so we find this fitting.

As for score? 5½ druids for the bold hengers! We are excited for them and pleased that henging by invitation is now a thing! Who knows where this will lead? Hengers invited in by the United Nations? Or Parliament? Hengers at sea? Henging by robots on Mars? The possibilities are endless.

Next up: Burning Man and its henge tradition. Until then, friends, happy henging!

For Mirek, Clonehenge Wishes You a Belated Happy Birthday!

photo sent to us by Agata and Max

Happy birthday to Mirek! And our thanks to the people at the Institute of Archaeology, University of Wroclaw, Poland. This evening we received an email that reads:

“Dear Clonehenge, 

Greetings from Institute of Archaeology, University of Wroclaw, Poland.

Our friend Mirek, archaeologist, have a birthday today so we made this b-day card for him. We wish him all the best!

 This card is very personalized, cause Mirek is a great fan of neolithic, megaliths, aerial photography and of course Clonehenge and Ylvis song.

 Oh! This card is hiding a rebus. First letters of ‘Stonehenge’ word, with the part of ‘latawiec’ (‘kite’ in polish) gives ‘sto lat’* which means ‘100 years’, sentence used as ‘happy birthday!’.

 Many thanks,  Agata & Max”

It included the picture above and another with one person flying what appears to be a box kite while three others watch.

So let’s have a look at this paper Stonehenge model. It is elementary, of course, not much detail, and yet, look at the shapes of the stones–much closer to the real Stonehenge sarsen shapes than in your average paper cut-out. And they even included some fallen stones cleverly by showing lumps by the side of the big stones. For what it is, this is well and thoughtfully done. Plus there is the rebus. The card depicts Stonehenge and a kite, which in Polish is latawiec, so the otherwise inexplicable little post-it at the top left means to strike out all of the letters of Stonehenge except STO and all of the letters of latawiec except LAT, yielding, as the email says, Sto lat!, a traditional birthday greeting. Brilliant!

You have to wonder why smart people like that aren’t running Clonehenge instead of us!

We are honoured to know that there are Clonehenge fans in Poland, and honoured to be thought of and included in the celebration in this way. Agata and Max, you made our day, as we say here. Mirek (he is the one flying the kite), we wish you many happy returns!

And to all of our readers, happy henging!

*Discworld fans can discuss this revelation about sto lat at a later time!

“I can recognise every stone” A Stonehenge Expert Visits a Replica!

This is too good not to share. Watch and listen as Mike Pitts, archaeologist and self-proclaimed Stonehenge geek, has a look around Sacrilege, the inflatable bouncy Stonehenge, with its maker, artist Jeremy Deller. Mike Pitts recognises and discusses individual stones he knows from Stonehenge itself while enjoying his first-ever experience on a bouncy castle. Meanwhile children are bouncing and shouting all around them. We found this video utterly delightful!

You know you have made a top-notch Stonehenge replica when Mike Pitts goes out of his way to visit it and takes time to admire and point out characteristics he recognises from the original stones. Take note, hengers.

Catching Up: Small Henges and Some News–Welcome, Blokes and Sheilas!

One of Kyle van Oldeniel’s excellent small Stonehenges

We have gotten ourselves into a bit of  a pickle (hmmm….have we ever posted a picklehenge?). We have let things go for so long that we have enough henges and henging news to fill five or more posts, even with multiple henges per post. We were going to blame it on the interns, who are always messaging away on the expensive smart phones their parents bought them, but as long as we are making people up, why not blame it on our evil nemesis, who hates Stonehenge replicas and wants to end Clonehenge forever. Yeah, that’s it–we TRY to post but he foils us at every turn!

But apparently we have vanquished him, because here we are at long last! The mini-Stonehenge above was created by Kyle van Oldeniel, who lives on the west coast of Scotland. He has created this and a number of other exquisite little henges, like small art works expressing his longing for the mystery, timelessness, and connection to the earth that Stonehenge represents. He has posted more in the Henge Collective group on Facebook. Too nice for our blog, actually! Thank you, Mr. van Oldeniel–well done.

Jumper (or sweater) henge, created for the birthday of Simon Burrow

The picture above was posted to the Clonehenge group on Facebook by none other than friend of the blog Simon Burrow. It reminds us a little of the clothes henge created by Markus Georg. This may not look like much, but it is undeniably eccentric in conception and unique in the henging world for its casual laundry-pile styling and variations in colour and patterns. We do not recall seeing striped or flowered stones in a henge before! What it lacks in accuracy it makes up for in, well, in… thingy! Well done! Ish.

Flip-flop Henge by Liz Smith Yeats

And as long as we are looking at henges made of things we wear, here is Flip-flop Henge as created and posted by Liz Smith Yeats on the Clonehenge Facebook group, where there is much more up-to-date henging news and pictures than you’ll find on the blog, with the advantage of not having to read our dreadful don’t-you-think-we’re-funny commentary! It’s not that we’re desperate to have you join the group, it’s just that if you are actually interested in henging and hengers, you can keep up despite our troubles with our intern/nemesis/broken hands/dial-up/IE6, pet dragons, etc.

At any rate, Ms. Yeats (any relation?!) says, “Hoping you find this a worthy effort. The backstory is that I find Flip-Flops to be loathsome and will stop at nothing to remove them from the realms of footwear.”

Indeed, Ms. Yeats, we find it worthy! And creating a Stonehenge replica out of dodgy footwear is solidly in the spirit of Clonehenge!

We have many more small henges to post when our interns stop messaging their friends and annihilate our nemesis! And download Chrome. And start taking the dragons out for their daily rides so they’re too tired to keep us from posting. Etcetera. And there are at least two temporary large henges to post: that Basshenge from Burning Man that we posted about in its planning stages, and the Henge Collective’s wood henge from the Audio Soup festival.

Also, there continues to be news: links to Clonehenge have been posted on the website of Current Archaeology Magazine (for a while) as well as our being mentioned in a radio show to be broadcast in Australia on Sunday, 9 September. We learned that the decision has been made, sadly, to film parts of Thor: the Dark World at Stonehenge instead of building one. We would have liked to see what they came up with! And we learned that in Roman Polanski’s movie Tess, a replica was used instead of the real thing! We have no pictures yet, but the interns are working on it!

If you live in Oz and this is your first look at Clonehenge, we have one word for you: Esperance! One of the finest recent additions to the world of Stonehenge replicas. You can be proud.

This post has exceeded recommended dosages, so, until next time, mates, happy henging!

Barbury Horse Trials: Stonehenge (ish) of Fallen Beech

Photo © Andy Hooper for the Mail Online

Don’t bother to look at the horse. Ignore the young woman with her dress flying up provocatively in the back. Yes, the important part of this picture is the trilithons! Sent in by alert reader, Welsh academic, shaman and author Mike Williams (we are honoured, sir), this Wiltshire setup, referred to as the Stonehenge Jump, was featured here once before, but we had no inkling that it was still being used until this morning. Be sure to have a look at this link to the article accompanying the picture above, especially the video part way down the page. Surprised they didn’t use the hymn Jerusalem as a background!

A couple of weeks ago, we were shown a picture of a recent crop circle in Wiltshire and all we could look at was the Stonehenge-like thing near it. That mystery appears to be solved–it was this circle of trilithons. We love when little mysteries solve themselves!

At any rate, we have already scored this at 5 ½ druids back in 2009. Seems right. The Daily Mail Online article says, “The Stonehenge jump, made from fallen beech, is the stand-out feature of the Barbury International, which will be staged on Marlborough Downs, Wiltshire, between June 28 and July 1.”

It was a lead-up to the Olympics, which also had Stonehenge jumps. It is too bad that crazy golf isn’t an Olympic sport. We could have been seeing Stonehenges all over the place during the games! At least Jeremy Deller’s wonderful bouncy Stonehenge is still touring. And elsewhere people are busy building Stonehenge replicas hoping to have it finished by winter solstice. We know the henge-oraks (combination of henge and anorak, our new word for the day! The thrill of it.) are out there somewhere and we look forward to hearing about their creations.

In other news, we hear a rumour that Achill Henge is bringing in enough money to give the good people of County Mayo pause. Is there yet hope that it will be permitted to stand? Oh, the tension, beauty and excitement of the world of Stonehenge replicas! One can hardly bear it sometimes. Other times one has a cup of tea and a biscuit.

Wait. What’s that you say? The horse is painted? Why so it is. We hadn’t noticed. Let’s hope the girl didn’t get any of that chalk on her dress. Or anywhere else. Messy business, these horse events! Until next time, gentle readers, happy henging!

They Nicked Our Name, But It’s Worth It: Achill Henge on the Radio!

Just a picture of their page–but click through for the audio

This week we were alerted to an Irish radio documentary about Achill Henge, one name for an, some say, illegal construction on an island off Ireland, as our regular readers know. We have been yammering on and about Achill (pronounced ACK-il, not AY-chill) Henge since its inception, and while we respect the rights of people to decide what is to be permitted on their common land, we will be a bit sad if and when the builder, one Joe McNamara, has to take it down.

Meanwhile, here is a link to this brilliant radio documentary, brilliantly entitled Clonehenge ! And no, we do not say we like it solely because everything sounds better and smarter when said in an Irish accent (as we were told on our mothers’ knee). Or because anything about a Stonehenge replica is more interesting to us than anything that is not about a Stonehenge replica. Well, maybe a bit. Of each.

Still, how could we not like it when there’s this conversation:

“I’ve been to Stonehenge and it didn’t impress me. But this impressed me.” “You’re only saying that ’cause you’re Irish.” “Absolutely!” “If Stonehenge was up the road, you’d be sayin’ it’s great.” “Yes, I would.” Laughter.

It also brings up some points worth mentioning. McNamara was stopped before he ever got to complete Achill Henge. No one knows what was meant to go in the center or if there was more to it. We may never know. *we sigh and make puppy eyes at the planning board*

Also it mentions the archaeo-acoustic research that was done at Maryhill, Washington replica, saying that the Maryhill replica is a bit rough, or something to that effect. We agree and have often thought that archaeo-acoustic research at Maryhill can hardly be relevant to the acoustics at the real Stonehenge–the “stones” at the Washington replica are so differently shaped, proportioned, and textured, and of course of a completely different material. Don’t all of those factors affect acoustics? Did those researchers just want funding to visit the Pacific Northwest?*

But best of all, unlike this post, the radio documentary is quite entertaining and leaves one with a smile. And there is a lovely gallery of pictures to click through, which we would have nicked and posted here if we knew how. Our thanks to its creator, Ronan Kelly. If we could, we would hire him to be on the Clonehenge, the Series, the one where we visit a Stonehenge replica per week, discuss it and interview visitors. No, we don’t have all of the details worked out just yet. Or the funding. But it is real n our minds and that’s what counts!

And, hey, Joe McNamara, we salute you. Don’t stop now! Until next time, friends, happy henging!

* So do we! But free tickets to visit Achill Henge will be even more eagerly accepted!

P.S.: We have relearned how to spell “nicked” after aliens abducted us and removed the spelling from our memory. Someone ought to do something about those pesky things!

GoStonehengeTour: Kickstarting the Dream of the Mobile Foamhenge!

from the Stonehenge: the American Tour Facebook page

This is a blog dedicated to the idea of the Stonehenge replica and its endless variations, not because we think Stonehenge replicas are a good idea–if that were true, this would be a serious blog–but on the contrary because we think the whole idea is by its very nature ridiculous and in some hard-to-define way, unrelentingly humourous.* People just can’t help themselves!

That said, there is, of course, nothing funny about an exact replica of Stonehenge made of foam being loaded onto an eighteen-wheeler and carted around North America so people can experience Stonehenge without having to meet any English people or accidentally photograph sheep. Well, we’re glad you don’t find it funny, because an enterprising group of students from Tallahassee has created a Kickstarter–an internet method of generating contributions from small but interesting projects–to do exactly that. Here is part of the pitch on their Kickstarter page:

“A monument of such amazing wonder and beauty should be seen by as many people as possible, don’t you think? However, visiting Stonehenge is much harder than it seems, and only a limited number of people WORLDWIDE see it each year, and even then, only a fraction of those people purchase the special access pass which is required to let them walk among the stones. Imagine all the hassle that goes into seeing this epic monument. Now, imagine just having to travel to a museum near you to walk amongst its legendary beauty.”

Nothing humourous there! Americans will be able to travel a short distance, walk among the foam stones, experience 4000 years of history, and not handle any of that funny money! Where they are getting the 4000-year-old foam, we are not certain, but there is still time for the details to be ironed out.

Another page announces: “We are planning five festivals to celebrate the exhibit, each one will involve several days of celebration, with camping, eating, music, art exhibits, dancing, all night fires, staged pagan rituals, and the whole druid party thing.” Splendid.

We were, of course, bemused to see their statement that it would be the “first life-size replica”. Hello, have we met?** It is remarkable how often we see this claim, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, and no doubt whoever is doing the Clonehenge blog hundreds of years from now (bless their semi-organic hearts) will see the same thing–no one ever checks first! The claim that it will be the world’s most accurate replica, however, is welcome. Make it so!

Stonehenge: the American Tour, GoStonehengeTour, and one or two other names are used, but they are all the same project. Visit their Facebook page! Pledge money! Make this a reality, gentle hengeophiles! A pledge to this Kickstarter is a vote for Stonehenge, or a vote for absurdity. Either way, we all win!

[We will not even attempt to address the motto: “If we build it, will you come?”]

In the past year, we have seen a Stonehenge replica built of recycled stones in Australia, a guerilla replica, for which a man was arrested, built in Ireland, a full-sized inflatable Stonehenge touring the UK, a group formed to build henges, more than one wonderful cakehenge, and numerous others of various natures. What next? Only the Stonehenge brain virus knows for sure! Stay tuned, and happy henging!

* Unlike our posts.

** Maryhill, Washington’s replica springs to mind, as well as the one in Montana, Esperance Australia’s replica, and the remarkable but now defunct BBC Foamhenge. There may be others on the List of Permanent Replicas.