Tag Archives for stonehenge replica

The Guerilla Henging Craze (and the Land of the Frozen Maple Leaf )

photo from this article

Happy solstice to our reader(s)!

Listen. We need to have a talk about, yes, guerilla henging. Everybody’s used to guerilla theatre and, more recently, guerilla crochet. But for years a hidden epidemic of Stonehenge building or henging has been going on without fanfare and without triggering any alarm in the unsuspecting public. Wake up, people!

It took this throw-away article on street art involving city-abandoned planters in (not surprisingly) Toronto (Ontario again!) to stir our thinking. It involves only one guerilla henge, but we know this is just the tip of the iceberg! [Note to Canadians–we used that as a common figure of speech. It is not, we repeat, NOT a cheap Canada/snow and ice joke.] This is not just a few flaky hengers, drifting along at glacial speeds, but a blizzard of henge creation that is crystallising now and is unlikely to melt at any time in the foreseeable future. *wink wink* [blah, blah, blah, Mounties, white bears, ice floes…]

Anyway, after a lengthy hiatus, we have been doing a little searching around the internet for new henges and the results are startling. Everyone is building Stonehenge replicas! We don’t mean stone circles, as we have explained before. That is a completely different category of creation. We’re talking about structures with lintels, meant to mimic Stonehenge itself. They are appearing in unprecedented numbers, from pre-made kits and models to instructions for junior hengers, to the usual alcohol-inspired henges and foodhenges, plus the mysterious henges that appear on lawns and in public places like mushrooms springing into existence overnight.

What is going on with people? The human race has gone into a frenzy of Stonehenge reproduction–those little worms that entered their minds upon seeing pictures of Stonehenge, or the real thing, taking over their wills as if they were wombs, and forcing them to give birth to Stonehenge’s children! There should be a task force on this or something.

But for now there is only Clonehenge. We are the voice crying in the wilderness, warning everyone of the danger of Stonehenge replicas eventually taking over every vacant square inch on the earth’s surface. Alas! We cry out but no one hears us. Our valient warnings fall on deaf ears. Et cetera, et cetera.

What we’re actually saying here, for those who are incapable of reading subtext, is–Day-um, ma peeps, git your asses out there and put henges in all the oddest and most surprising places. This is our time! Flash mobs are going out and guerilla henging is IN! Clonehenge wants YOU.

So once again we wish you happy henging! But please, some of you, be careful on the ice! You know who you are, eh?

P.S.: We forgot that we meant to use the word frightening in this post. Feel free to insert it where you will.

Why No Posts?

photo by Jo Wallace

Four words: “Disk failure is imminent.” All of the henges we had lined up (and we DID actually have some!) are currently unavailable and (possibly) awaiting rescue. Our apologies. Meanwhile keep those links, photos, and suggestions coming. If you sent us one and you haven’t seen it, please send it again.

We’ve posted the picture above before in our post on the Stonehenge/golf connection, but here is a link to someone’s blog post on this replica, sent us by ever-alert reader and contributer Bob Bradlee aka @StonehengeGuy . We’ve seen pictures of a minigolf course in Thailand, a couple in England, maybe one or two more, but surely we don’t have them all. You can help in this vitally important research! If you’re traveling this summer, keep your eyes peeled for Stonehenge golf courses, large or small. Clonehenge fame awaits you!

Jellyhenge: Why Shouldn’t Stonehenge Be Red, Transparent, and Edible?!

photo by Dan French, used with permission (at least until he reads this)

This henge was presented to us by Dan French. We assume he or someone he knows created it, but who knows? The man does not seem to be trustworthy. For one thing, he gives his name as Dan French, but–get this–he IS NOT ACTUALLY FRENCH!!!1!! Like we wouldn’t notice that!

Also, he is a Bruce Springsteen fan. From Baldock, Hertfordshire. Does that seem right to you? Baldock, we happen to know (because we just read it on Wikipedia) was founded by THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR!!!!1!(one)! and was the site of a leper colony in medieval times. How are lepers and the Knights Templar connected with Bruce Springsteen? And jelly? (We will again take up the topic of Baldock in a future post!)

Whew! There. Two solid informational paragraphs–and at first we were afraid we wouldn’t be able to write anything thoughtful about this henge. Pshaw. This is why we are the best Stonehenge replica blog going!

Which reminds us, what about the Stonehenge replica? We do love our Gentle Readers but they constantly work to get us off topic, as if we were an eccentric secondary school physics teacher. What we have here, Class, appears to be four outer trilithons and two inner trilithons. A little short of the real thing, but we have to take into account the superior materials. This is the henge the ancients wanted to build, but they didn’t have the advantage of modern gelatin technology.

Mr. “French” (Lestat?) claims the outer trilithons are raspberry and the inner are blueberry, cleverly giving a nod to the bluestones. But we all know how dependable he is. This could well be the ultimate blood sacrifice henge, with the blood incorporated directly into the megaliths!!

Not to get off the subject (heh), but have you seen this srsly awesome slow motion video of jelly (or Jello or Jell-O) cubes being dropped onto a hard surface? We do not use or advocate drugs, but if you are already smoked up or tripping, you will have a distinct advantage in enjoying this. And for the jelly-shot types, did you know that if you make them with Bacardi 151, they are so strong that they can kill you, but they can also be lit on fire?! DO NOT try this at home, especially if you have a couple of them first, even though that IS when you’re likely to be tempted!

What’s that you say? Henge? Oh, right. Let us address the score. The stone shapes are not right. There is no continuous linteling on the outer circle. The inner trilithons are not higher than the outer and there aren’t enough of them. No outliers or altar stone, no Aubrey holes… The list goes on and on.  But–it IS clear and wobbly. Think of the sunrise shining through this one, people! Think of the rare lichens. (?) We have carelessly given decent scores to much worse replicas than this.

Score: 6 druids! Congratulations, Mr. “Dan French”, but we’re still onto you. Millions of people would do anything to penetrate the prestigious world of Stonehenge replicas, including assuming false identities. Our nanotechnological insects are seeking you out as we speak. This isn’t our last post concerning you, sir!

To all of the rest of our Gentle Readers, know the chapter on vectors by Thursday. And until then, happy henging!

It’s Got Character, Charm, and a Slab in the Middle–Celebrating Our 300th Post!

Brought to our attention by the ever-vigilant Wiltshire citizen and elegant shutterbug, Mr. Pete Glastonbury, this bit of video is part of The Complete and Utter History of Britain, a project done by Terry Jones and Michael Palin in their pre-Monty Python days.

In it, a realtor is showing Stonehenge to a young couple as a potential home (despite its being a bit drafty). The monument in question appears to be a circle of six trilithons, as seen at second 15 of the video. A Stonehenge replica from 1969–excellent!

Score: 6 druids. Wish we could give them more, but Palin (that’s Michael, not Sarah) had yet to perfect his tourism schtick. Our thanks to all of our readers–even those who stumbled on the blog while searching “nudity mandatory“! Keep sending us those links and pictures and keep building those linteled stone circles. The future needs them, for some reason we have yet to divine.

Until next time, happy henging!

Stonehenge Film Clip: How the Stones Were Rearranged (with model)

STONEHENGE: STONES REARRANGED SHOCK: (Clip 1).

We present this link via the ever alert and helpful Pete Glastonbury–a film clip about Stonehenge, showing how the stones were moved with heavy machinery in the 20th century.  We post it primarily for the Stonehenge model, glimpsed briefly shortly before half way through. The stones look accurately proportioned and shaped, what we can see of them. This could have gotten a tidy bunch of druids (The Tidy Druids–great name for a band!)  if we could see the whole thing.

Where is it now? Did anyone keep it? How many of these things are there, anyway??? And, most important–are we the only ones counting? Happy henging and enjoy the springtime (or autumn if you live in upside-down world!)!

Fostering Childhood Henge Addiction and Practicing the Craft(s)…

photos from firstpalette.com

As we know, not everyone is content to have Stonehenge an ocean or even a few miles away. The many ways of supplying your Stonehenge fix include virtual Stonehenges, large private Stonehenges, large public Stonehenges, pre-made fabricated mini-Stonehenges and then there are the homemade mini-Stonehenges. Where there is so great a need, teachers are bound to spring up. This one caters especially to the younger set of henge addicts, setting them up for a lifetime of henging!

These instructions do several things right, enough so that we forgive them for calling it, “The Stonehenge.” First, they go into the whole lith, monolith, trilithon complex of words, thus reducing embarrassing spelling errors for those children who may grow up to the noble profession of Stonehenge replica blogging. We went for many posts before a friend pulled us aside and reminded us that it isn’t spelled trilothon. (Bright red-faced smiley and lawks!)

They also explain the lintels and there’s this nice little moment when their colouring the salt clay where they simply say, “Color your clay or dough by adding a bit of black acrylic paint or poster paint. Add a tinge of blue if you like.” (Our emphasis) They don’t mention bluestones, but that they throw that in, even though it’s for the sarsens, is nice. They also discuss the trilithon horseshoe at the bottom of the page, for the advanced neophyte henger. Not bad!

So we’re going along, showering them with adoring approval when what do we see? Say it ain’t so!! Yes, they are moai! Groan. Now many of our multitude of readers may have joined us too recently to remember, but the association of Stonehenge and moai is kind of a pet peeve of ours. True, in this case they are at least on separate pages, but this has opened old psychological wounds and we are now curled up in the fetal position dictating this to the cat!

Score: 6 druids! We like that it’s instructions for kids. Everyone should know several ways to create a Stonehenge in a pinch!

That’s it for now, so until next time, happy henging! AND SEND TUNA!!!!

Simple and Easy Do-It-Yourself Stone Henge Instructable!

photos by McNopants13 on Instructables.com

Pardon us, but we must begin with a lengthy quotation:

“I had a stage show to put on with some of my students and thought it might look cool to see them carry on and build stonehenge during a certain scene so away i set off to build the elusive stone henge …. but GASP! I don’t have the money nor the resources for giant stone slabs … “fear not handsome craftsman” a voice said to me in my head… I will make a giant paper mache version of the sotnes and so I set off once again with a plan. and alot of boxes here are some photos from the build and some of the final stones on stage. ENJOY!”

Above you see some of the papier mache versions of the aforementioned sotnes,as they are so delightfully misspelled. The accompanying pictures show a process of taking smaller boxes, attaching them to make long rectangles, covering them with papier mache and painting them grey. And then, of course, forming trilithons with them.

Curiously, despite the replacement of the continuous circle with simple trilithons and the completely un-Stonehenge-like shapes of the stones, the creator/instructor remembered to add bluestones of a sort, a nice touch which might gain them a much-needed druid for their score. Or we should say–his score, the clever hengineer being Monsieur McNopants13. Or Madame McNopants13, as the case may be. If it is a female McNopants, of course, we would want to know, as it’s the sort of thing we would prefer to lead off the post with so as to acquire the trashier reputation we feel we need in order to draw more readers.

As you can see above, even as far as this creation is from resembling Stonehenge itself, it still has an atmospheric quality when used as a stage prop and lit well. And let it never be said that most henge-o-philes are not generally well-lit. Har. And speaking of heavy drinking, for no reason at all we are reminded to thank Matt Penny aka @salisbury_matt, the High Lord and Grand Poobah of Salisbury and Stonehenge.net, for sending us the link to this “instructable”.

As for score, it’s like this–the do-it-yourself aspect and the bluestones are on the plus side. The strange proportions and the fact of the trilithons without a circle are on the other side. We award this one 6 druids! Quite high, really, as, let’s face it, those who created it probably were, too! We want to encourage this kind of thing, after all. More henges, less guns; more papier mache, less greed. That’s what the world needs! More or less. And until next time, friends, happy henging!

Henge-Podge: Odds and Ends That Have Come Across Our Desk, Part Two

from designboom

First on this second edition of Henge Podge is not a Stonehenge replica but a clever henge-related item: Ikea-like instructions for the construction of Stonehenge. We couldn’t possibly say anything as clever as this is, so we’ll just post a second picture, advise you to click on the link because there is more to it, and move on. Yes, that is a druid you see there.

Next bit is something we’re keeping an eye on: a tentative plan for a Stonehenge replica, this time in Harwich. Reading the article here we are uncertain how much like Stonehenge this so-called “version of Stonehenge” will be. They have the stones, granite from a dismantled railroad bridge, and not much else so far. It remains to be seen if it happens at all and if it does, whether they bother to put on the all-important lintels. Maybe we should send them the Ikea instructions!

photo from a nut in a nutshell

And finally we present the only snowhenge we saw this winter, despite all of the snow that fell. We believe this was sent to us by the absolutely marvelous Matt Penny aka @salisbury_matt , sole proprietor and strong proponent of  Salisbury and Stonehenge.net. Thank you, sir. He and Señor Glastonbury are duking it out for top Friend of the Blog status, which entitles one to every cent of the money we have made up until now by doing the Clonehenge blog. The suspense is killing!

Meanwhile we can’t remember who sent us the other two items. Thank you, whoever you are. Comment on this post with the information and we’ll add it.

In the old days we might have done a whole post on the snowhenge, but that url blasted across it is too much, so this is what you get. We do, however, have a couple more  items recently submitted. A henge documenter’s work is never done! We’ll be back when we can see our way clear to doing something this constructive again.

Who knows when that will be, but until then, everybody, happy henging!

Henge-Podge: Odds and Ends That Have Come Across Our Desk, Part One

photo by Kerry McKenna

We have been accumulating odds and bits related to Clonehenge, none of them quite right for an entire post, but each a curiosity worth a look. Take the example above, a typical Englishman in tradition dress out for his stolid and dignified constitutional. Barely worth a second look if it weren’t for the henge-ish thing there: four trilithons in a circle surrounded by bluestones. We thank friend of the blog Feet, oops, we mean Pete, Glastonbury for drawing our attention to this. (That’s not him.) We also thank the shadows and the robe for being so helpfully strategic! Oo-er! We were going to make a comment about “stones” but, really, we’re better than that.

Also from Mr. Glastonbury, photo taken by him, is the curious grouping of stones at the left. He says, “I spotted this in the garden of Teachers Cottage in Avebury High St. It is a representation of the Obelisk and the inner stones of the southern circle in Avebury. An Avebury Model in Avebury!” Just the sort of obscure and odd thing we like, but it makes us wonder–do people build little pyramids next to the Pyramids? Or is it a thing that only henges do to the mind?

And last for this post, for we find, now we’ve started, that we have more of these bits than we thought, is this card we received for winter solstice (and related holidays) from Mr. @jwisser, aka Jonas Wisser, who is, in the interest of full disclosure, the progeny of the Clonehenge perpetrator(s). He had these cards made by [name to be inserted here later because we once again did not do our homework] especially for him. The sun is rather large, but we do believe in poetic license in such cases, and we think it is a cleverly fashioned thing, all in all. Quite observant, putting the remaining three connected lintels front and center.

We will save the rest of our hengy bits for another post. That way those of you who subscribe to our feed get the thrill of yet another of our delightful posts showing up in your inbox just when you need a lift! And we get to go do something else now. Keep sending in your Clonehenge-related news! Frankly we are surprised at the lack of snowhenges this year and suspect some people have been lax about bringing them to our attention. Ahem.

And until next time, happy henging!

Aedes Ars, New Stonehenge Model for Sale, Made in Spain!

photo from the aedes ars website, used with permission.

We should have held out for a bribe! For the first time in our two-plus years of folly, a company contacted us in advance to announce the release of a new Stonehenge model. Did we maximise? Did we monetise? No. We’re just doing another post for free, losers that we are.

The kit’s dimensions are listed as 280 x 280 x 70 mm., about 11 inches square, for those who think in old units. Pretty small. All of the 121 pieces are fine quality ceramic fired at 800° C.

We’re told by the people at Spanish manufacturer aedes ars, “The main work with this kit (different of the rest of our products) is to scrape the surface of the pieces to make them irregular and to let the clay colour mix appear in the surface.” So they’re going to some trouble to make the stones look suitably old and stony, always a good sign. They haven’t quite got their English right, but we don’t score on that. Our Spanish isn’t that great, either, a decir la verdad.

What we don’t know yet is how much it’s going to cost, but the company seems very proud of this Stonehenge model, as it is pictured on the cover of their latest catalogue. So, how shall we evaluate it? Our only other commercial clay Stonehenges, the models by Hawkes Nest in North Olmstead, Ohio, got 7 druids, but this one is a little finer, with better-shaped stones and a more professional look. Still, the Hawkes Nest models had a nice wood base…

We like sets you assemble yourself, though. Makes it easier to use for history class dioramas, etc. While the set is of the Stonehenge-as-it-is-imagined-to-have-looked-at-first variety, you could make a good stab at setting it up as it is now. That’s a plus! We like the current, disheveled look of the grey monster of Salisbury Plain better, all in all.

Score? We give it 8 druids. Nice set. Things that future model-makers can do better: 1) shape stones individually to match each real stone at Stonehenge, as they did in the exquisite cardboard Stonehenge, 2) include a larger baseboard with room for Aubrey holes and a heelstone, and more space so it doesn’t look so cramped, and 3) draw stone positions for the current state of the monument on the reverse side of the base material.

Now, for those thinking of contacting us with commercially available Stonehenges in like manner in the future: we figure we should get about €2000 per druid scored!  Or, you could just ask us politely like they did and we’ll probably do it for free. This is our mission: to demonstrate to the world the incredible rate at which Stonehenge is reproducing itself like a virus, using human minds as cells to incubate and create its young and thus to take over the world!!!1!

We don’t have to be paid to sing our siren of warning into the vastnesses of cyberspace. We just hope for a monument to be built to us after mankind realises the fate we’ve saved it from. We’re thinking of a nice linteled stone monument, about 33 meters across, surrounded by a circular earthwork…