Happy Valentine’s Day! In Which We Venture into the Realm of Teh Cute!

Sculpture by Lesley-Anne Raven at Cobweb Corner

Sculpture by Lesley-Anne Raven at Cobweb Corner

Greetings to our readers. [heart] [heart] [heart!] We don’t have either of our new large permanent replica posts ready yet, but we wanted to put something up here for Valentine’s Day and look what we found!! THIS!!!! And you may well ask, “What is it?”

On the Stone Henge [sic] page of Cobweb Corner, Ms. Raven includes this among many interesting items she calls  “Stone Henge* inspired incense burners and candleholders”. Here’s another. StoneHengeSmall

What’s that you say? Aren’t these a little on the precious side for Clonehenge? Too cute? Are you wondering if we know the craft person and are getting kickbacks on every item sold? And we say, “No, but thanks—what a great idea! We’ll work on that.” On the other hand, if we ever started making money from Clonehenge, we might have to start actually working at it, and no one would want that, least of all us!

We’re posting this because: A. Our policy is to illustrate all of the ways in which people are reproducing Stonehenge; and B. We were completely at a loss as to how to celebrate Valentine’s Day on Clonehenge until this came along. This chocolate henge looks yummy, but we didn’t ask permissions in time.

We’re not awarding druids for this. We give it five strawberry creams and a ! And we accompany it with our words from last Valentine’s Day:

Happy Valentine’s Day to all, with or without a real lover. We all know you singles have your dreams and fantasies. You may be doing as well or better than many who face the challenge of the real thing (our own partner, for example, has us to put up with…).

You know what your Valentine wants: a Stonehenge replica, of course! Make it from biscuits or chocolate candies. Hide that ring and its glittering rock among the stones. There are few things more romantic and at the same time subliminally sexual than that shaft of light streaming in between a pair of uprights! If you make one, send us pictures. Of the henge only, please. There are plenty of sites for those other photos!

Meanwhile, as spring approaches, we have great line up of henges ahead for you. An interview with the amazing Mark Cline (of Foamhenge fame, and who is currently constructing the new Alabama addition to our list of large permanent replicas)  is in the works, and one of our trusty henge-o-racks may be heading over to meet him at the new fibreglass replica to get pictures of him and the henge while it’s being painted!

We have a public sculpture in Zurich to look at, a lovely small quartzite model from Brazil, and another small model that is a pun on the glacier theory of the bluestones (Yes. We get all kinds.), the Serbian sculpture mentioned before, probably some snowhenges, and many other odd and fun things to come! Enjoy your sweetheart tomorrow, or conversely, enjoy being bitter about not having one. Remember, Stonehenge needs love, and until next time, friends, happy henging!

*Stone Henge is one of many common misspellings of Stonehenge, including Stonehedge, Stongehenge, Stoneghenge Stonhenge and others. Each has its adherents, but to find everything about Stonehenge on the internet, one has to search them all.

Aedes Ars, New Stonehenge Model for Sale, Made in Spain!

photo from the aedes ars website, used with permission.

We should have held out for a bribe! For the first time in our two-plus years of folly, a company contacted us in advance to announce the release of a new Stonehenge model. Did we maximise? Did we monetise? No. We’re just doing another post for free, losers that we are.

The kit’s dimensions are listed as 280 x 280 x 70 mm., about 11 inches square, for those who think in old units. Pretty small. All of the 121 pieces are fine quality ceramic fired at 800° C.

We’re told by the people at Spanish manufacturer aedes ars, “The main work with this kit (different of the rest of our products) is to scrape the surface of the pieces to make them irregular and to let the clay colour mix appear in the surface.” So they’re going to some trouble to make the stones look suitably old and stony, always a good sign. They haven’t quite got their English right, but we don’t score on that. Our Spanish isn’t that great, either, a decir la verdad.

What we don’t know yet is how much it’s going to cost, but the company seems very proud of this Stonehenge model, as it is pictured on the cover of their latest catalogue. So, how shall we evaluate it? Our only other commercial clay Stonehenges, the models by Hawkes Nest in North Olmstead, Ohio, got 7 druids, but this one is a little finer, with better-shaped stones and a more professional look. Still, the Hawkes Nest models had a nice wood base…

We like sets you assemble yourself, though. Makes it easier to use for history class dioramas, etc. While the set is of the Stonehenge-as-it-is-imagined-to-have-looked-at-first variety, you could make a good stab at setting it up as it is now. That’s a plus! We like the current, disheveled look of the grey monster of Salisbury Plain better, all in all.

Score? We give it 8 druids. Nice set. Things that future model-makers can do better: 1) shape stones individually to match each real stone at Stonehenge, as they did in the exquisite cardboard Stonehenge, 2) include a larger baseboard with room for Aubrey holes and a heelstone, and more space so it doesn’t look so cramped, and 3) draw stone positions for the current state of the monument on the reverse side of the base material.

Now, for those thinking of contacting us with commercially available Stonehenges in like manner in the future: we figure we should get about €2000 per druid scored!  Or, you could just ask us politely like they did and we’ll probably do it for free. This is our mission: to demonstrate to the world the incredible rate at which Stonehenge is reproducing itself like a virus, using human minds as cells to incubate and create its young and thus to take over the world!!!1!

We don’t have to be paid to sing our siren of warning into the vastnesses of cyberspace. We just hope for a monument to be built to us after mankind realises the fate we’ve saved it from. We’re thinking of a nice linteled stone monument, about 33 meters across, surrounded by a circular earthwork…