(Warning: This post judged not suitable for irony-free zones.)
All right thinking people should be deeply grateful to Mr. Vin Callcut for unearthing the hitherto unknown story of the pre-Roman Stonehenge narrow gauge railway! How this important construction of the past eluded all serious historians until now is difficult to understand, but leave it to Clonehenge to be one of the first to get out the word. Come to us for all late-breaking Stonehenge news!
This startling revelation requires us to re-evaluate all we thought we knew about ancient Britain. That a Greek physicist came to Britain with Phoenician traders and built this brilliant amusement ride for Bronze Age Brits on holiday puts the lie to all those claims of the hard lives of our ancestors. Look at them–Newsflash: they were having just as good a time as we do! Heh. For the full story, see the Stonehenge Railway page [link]. This may be the best thing since Tamponhenge!
Sadly, the Romans came and, offended by the idea of a non-standard gauge, destroyed the railway as thoroughly as they did Carthage, rendering its existence virtually undetectable. Now you can see a replica for the first time, thanks to Vin Callcut, who built this model in a suitcase for easy travel. The size limits of the suitcase made it impossible to include all outlying stones and holes, but notice that the bluestones, the altar stone and possibly the heelstone (see photos on the page linked above), still standing in this model, are included.
Score: We’re looking at an 8 druid replica here, people! Just amazing. There is just one sad note to be added. Mr. Callcut sold this model to someone who had a hobby shop in Austin, Texas and has heard nothing of it since. He (and we) would love to know if it is still on display. If there are any readers in or near Austin, could you look into this for us? Stonehenge Railway, phone home!
[Note for those of you who work for English Heritage: it’s not too late to rebuild Stonehenge and put that railway on top once more. Think of the tourist revenues. Americans would love it!]