As winter solstice approaches, one thing and one thing only is on the mind of the modern henger: what movies should you play for our solstice movie marathon this year? One year you played every movie that had Sun in the title, but that was a mixed bag, and last year, well, one can only watch The Wicker Man so many times in a row. Someone suggested a Doctor Who marathon, but let’s face it: you know AND WE KNOW that you have been having Doctor Who marathons at least twice a week for the last month (and, frankly, he’s tired and out of breath. Hahahahaha! ha?). In fact, to be honest, we can actually see that you have Doctor Who playing in the background right now as you read this. Get a grip, srsly.
We offer this post to bring you a brilliant solution to your quandary. Here is a list, which we do not claim to be complete, of movies that have Stonehenge—or some Stonehenge-like substance—in them. We aren’t saying all of them (or, perhaps, any of them) are good movies, or that you’ll enjoy them, although you may enjoy each in its own way (except Stonehenge Apocalypse—no one does. Trust us.). All we’re saying is that at some point in each of these, Stonehenge rears its ugly head, at which point you either throw popcorn at the screen or yell “Score!” and take a strong shot of something.
Plus, you and your friends, should you have any, can do some Stonehenge analysis of your own. Which movie replicas are good? Which are lame? And which actually filmed AT Stonehenge. What’s that you say? Yes. Yes. We know. Doctor Who filmed at Stonehenge. Thank you for that. Nerd.
STONEHENGE MOVIE LIST (replicas unless otherwise marked) no particular order
1. This is Spinal Tap (getting this one out of the way right away)
2. The Black Knight —unintentionally hilarious Stonehenge sequence with dancing nymphs and murderous druids at Stonehenge
3. National Lampoon’s European Vacation —Chevy Chase represents all of America as he carelessly topples Stonehenge
4. The Mists of Avalon —a scene at a Stonehenge-ish thing
5. King Arthur —he marries Keira Knightley there at the end. Beautiful. And the henge is nice, too. ;-)
6. King Lear —said to be filmed on a Stonehenge-like set
7. Merlin: The Return —it’s Merlin, so of course, Stonehenge has to come into it
8. Merlin of the Crystal Caves —includes a young Merlin overseeing the erecting of the stones at Stonehenge
9. Tess —for this one, Roman Polanski built a whole Stonehenge in France. Realistic replica
10. The Colour of Magic —movie of Pratchett’s book. A woman being sacrificed at Stonehenge is saved. Stonehenge as computer hardware
11. Curse of the Demon —devil cults, death curses, Stonehenge, REAL Stonehenge
12. Shanghai Knights —they crash into Stonehenge
13. Fiddlers Three, or While Nero Fiddled —comedy: people sheltering under Stonehenge in a storm get transported back to Roman times. Hijinks ensue
14. Stonehenge Apocalypse —bad movie, BUT Stonehenge. Everyone say it’s terrible, but, sadly, not funny terrible
15. The Pandorica Opens —okay, yes, this is Doctor Who. REAL Stonehenge
16. Thor: The Dark World —Thor, “dark elves”, Loki, Asgard, and of course, Stonehenge. REAL Stonehenge. Not out on DVD yet, though
Are there more movies with Stonehenges? Indubitably. Are we done here for now? Fo shizzle!
Fill the comments with your corrections and suggestions. We’re ready for you! Let us know how your solstice movie marathon goes!
And until next time, friends, happy henging!
P. S. : 17. Halloween III. Have to mention it even though it doesn’t actually qualify, because Stonehenge-y-ness in plot.
[Our thanks to Aberfoyle, no, Abercrombie, no, what’s ’is name—Aber4th? for telling us about Merlin of the Crystal Caves in the comments. Our thanks to Mr. Barry Teague for the tip about Fiddlers Three.]